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It is argued that higher education can lead people to obtain better life


Bunglon11 28 / 31 5  
Feb 21, 2016   #1
Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates find better jobs while some others hold that there are wider benefits for the individual and the society.

Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.


Different people have different approaches to gain success. It is argued that higher education can lead people to obtain better life while others believe that there are some benefits becoming independence and living in societies. In this case, I personally believe that both are crucial in human life linked to a well-being lives.

It is true that the education in the university is related to finding a job. Most of people continue their study in higher level education to grab well-paid work which possible to change their life's quality. This is because education has been linked to the career opportunity. For example, when people have been graduated from university, they are expected having some skills order to apply in a high-class company. A survey conducted by the University of Indonesia found that 64% employees in a company were dominated by graduated from university means that there is a correlation between education and job opportunity.

Apart from this, there are other benefits for individuals and society. Firstly, living independence tends to lead a student being creative and do not depend on another person. Moreover, it can influence student's activity to make relation with other people in society that is possible to build the network able to make cooperation, which can be related to business. In addition, in this modern era, we live in the competitive era where living in societies can teach the students how to survive and compete to grab the best occasion.

Furthermore, in my view, I believe that education can be a bridge for the students facing this era while all of goals need more efforts, but on another hand, the independence and relation with other people can help students to live sociality which is possible to develop the linked to provide better future.

To conclude, graduation from university is linked to job opportunities for students. While some people argue that social communities and individual bring some advantages, I personally believe that both of them encourage opportunity for students to obtain better in their life, not only job' chance but also relationship.

mita23 34 / 37 3  
Feb 23, 2016   #2
hello Bunglon11. your writing is so impressive, yet I wanna give you some suggestions.

a. you need to concern about your grammatical accuracy because I found many grammatical errors.
1. I personally believe that both OF THE CASES are crucial in human ...
2. ... education in the university is related to findingFIND a job.
3. ... to grab well-paid work which IS possible to change their life's quality.
4. they are expected havingTO HAVE some skills IN order to apply in a high-class company.
5. ... dominated by graduated from university WHICH means that there is a correlation
b. try to make simple sentence
>> Moreover, it can influence student's activity to make ...
replace it by this sentence
>>Moreover, scholars can have good interaction with others which leads to create great link related to business

thank you


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