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Some have argued that imagination is not as important as perspiration. CBEST writing


Juliah 3 / 4 1  
Sep 16, 2015   #1
Some have argued that imagination is not as important as perspiration. To what extent you agree or disagree.

There are two kinds of people in the world; the ones that dream, and the ones that make dreams to come true. Imagination is a vital characteristic of a human being, but I believe that hard working people that make dreams to come true are more valuable for society. Hard working people not only imaging things, but they also master skills, reach goals and investigate further.

Skills are only mastered by investing time and effort. Imagination itself does not have value if this idea do not has a person who works hard to make the idea real. When I picture famous inventors, I always see them working really hard in their labs, experimenting with trial and error. Their great ideas were only the beginning of a great discovery or revolution. For example, Steve Jobs not only had the idea of building personal computer, but he also worked many hours trying to build his idea and carry it to the market. Great ideas are cunning, but only with hard work are useful for society.

Working hard is also a way to reach goals. I not only believe that we can do something, but also that we can implement a plan to make it happen. Successful business did not only emerge from an idea, along with that idea was plan to carry idea. For example, when my friend and I had the idea of exporting quinoa from Peru, she implemented a whole plan of how to buy the product from farmers and sell it to Europe and the United States' clients. She visited farmers and clients, made contracts, install a plant for product packaging. We had the idea together, but she made the product come true by hard work. She benefited a whole community of quinoa producers.

Finally, hardworking and experimentation is a good way to see other outcomes and possibilities. When you are working on something, you can see other way to get better outcomes. For example, my friend that was exporting quinoa, found other markets and products to export such as tropical fruits and handcraft. This vision could not be possible if she was not already in the market.

Nurture imagination and creativity is beneficial as long as we understand that this is only the beginning of the process. In order to produce and contribute something to society, we have to work hard. Working hard it is the only way to cultivate skill, reach goals, and find better options in life. We have to teach our children not only that they can be any thing in life, but also that they have to work very hard for it.
sarahk57 - / 1 1  
Sep 16, 2015   #2
There's a few grammatical errors in the first paragraph: Imagination is a vital characteristic of a human being, but I believe that hard working people that make dreams to come true are more valuable for society. Hard working people [are] not only [capable of] imaging things (a teacher once told me to only use the word "things" as a last resort), but they also master skills, reach goals and investigate further.

In the second paragraph: Imagination itself does not have value if this the idea do[es] not has have a person who works hard to make the idea [a] real [reality]. Also add an "a" in the sentence referencing Steve Jobs between "building" and "personal" and a "they" in the last sentence of the second paragraph between "are" and "useful".

The third paragraph begins abruptly and could use a smoother transition. I would suggest possibly reiterating what business you're talking about.
In the fourth paragraph: Finally, hardworking and experimentation is a good way to see other outcomes and possibilities. I appreciate that you reference your friend from the third paragraph, it's a good way to tie the piece together but I would suggest alternative word choice from "for example" for the sake of not sounding repetitive.

Last paragraph: the first word should be nurturing not nurture. ...cultivate skill
OP Juliah 3 / 4 1  
Sep 18, 2015   #3
Sara,
Thank you very much for your corrections. English is my second language, and I really appreciate what you did for me.


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