GRE- Argument on letter by Central Plaza store owners; Hidden factors

hi, by mistake i have posted this essay in undergraduate. it under comes graduate essay.

The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."

While it may be true that the number of shopper in Central Plaza has been decreasing since last two years, this author's argument does not make cogent case for prohibiting skateboarding would resume the number of shoppers at Central Plaza. According to the author, banned on skateboarding would increase the sales at central plaza. While the correlations are logical and probable, there may be hidden factors that are responsible for decreased number of shoppers.

The author's first mistake is to assume that he/she knows why the number of shopper is decrease. She claims that the popularity of skateboarding amongst the shopper is the reason why shoppers are less attracted towards stores. This is the classical case of confusing correlation with causation. While people are more inclined towards the skateboarding, it does not follow that it is responsible for decreased sales. It may be because of insufficient or devoid stock for consumer or may be because the Central Plaza lack latest facilities offered by other stores. Perhaps they are inclined towards the skateboarding is entirely different. Skateboarding is all about people's interest in recreational activity. Skateboarding may also be popular because of its concern with body fitness.

The author also claims that dramatic increase in skateboarding has tremendously increased litter and vandalism and reason why the sales have been decreased which is similarly unsubstantiated. The thought that vandalism and litter has decreased the number of shopper, it must also decrease the skateboarding. If the atmosphere is the cause of decrease the popularity of Plaza it must have same effect on the popularity of skateboarding. In this case the author's assumption should be on survey based so that the author would get to know the foremost existing reason.

Based on assumptions, the author makes bold proposal that to return the previous sales statistics, the skateboarding should be banned. Though this proposal is intend to maintain the positive attribute that to resume the popularity of plaza, it may be fail to achieve the goal because the skateboarding may not be the reason. Despite it is possible that other reason mentioned above could be the cause.

Despite the flaws in this author's argument, he/she may be correct why the number of shoppers has been decreased. He could strengthen his argument by documenting its most important premises with data. For example, he provided that the decrease in number of shoppers is because of skateboarding, litter and vandalism. Yet, without any supporting details such as survey. If the survey supports the claim, his argument would be far more persuasive. Were this the case his argument might be justified.

that's now fixed ;) ... Also we moved it to writing feedback forum because it's a GRE essay :D

While it may be true that the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been decreasing since last two years


According to the author, a ban on skateboarding would increase the sales at central plaza


While the correlations seem to be somewhat logical and probable, there also could be hidden factors that contribute to the decreased number of shoppers.

Thanks for your attention.. I just want to know the score. :)