There is an argument
- There is no reference to an argument in the presentation. There is however, a reference to an exchange of ideas or discussion. Do not make exaggerate claims not supported by the original presentation.
While this action ... on the country.
- Improper thesis presentation. This presentation does not align itself with the original comparative discussion + personal opinion prompt
- TA failure due to incorrect response formatting and a response not related to the task
The overall essay only presents your personal discussion, which means that you have changed this from comparative to a totally different essay discussion. The format you decided to respond in, is based on the A/D format rather than the comparative essay format. So the response is incorrect in totality. You were being asked to compare the 2 opinions, which you did not do in a public point of view reference, hence the error in response presentation. You have only a personal opinion presented throughout. This is a 5 paragraph essay, you only wrote 4. There is no clear:
- Paragraph in support based on public knowledge
- Paragraph in opposition based on public knowledge
The personal opinion is not fully developed as there are 2 supporting ideas in the same paragraph. You need only 1 personal opinion topic in this presentation to establish a clear opinion based on personal knowledge.