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Argument between funding new railway lines and existing public transport


fauzansdr 1 / -  
Aug 6, 2018   #1
WRITING TASK 2

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


A good balance between creating new and improving existing in regard of transport



Some societies in some regions believe it is required to invest massive quantities of cash on building new railway tracks for accelerated trains among many towns. The remaining people argue the fund must be spent on developing transport which still exists. Though the former may possibly bring a number of benefits, it is too false to spend money only on one need beside the other needs unequally.

It is clear that the allocation of publics' money for developing the infrastructures of the routes for rapid trains which connect many cities has been allowing humans to get some benefits such as time efficiency on traveling, cutting the high cost trading system, and one of the most beneficial aspects is the reducing a number of traffic problems. Thus, all sort of these benfits have led to the increasing demands towards railways by massive number of the people.

However, the demands do not appear with the sufficient number of the availability of the existing rail tracks. Then, because of that main reason, the governments around the world are forced to spend more expenditure on adding the number those vital lines. Therefore, the possible result that will emerge when governments approve this request is that the cities are likely to have equal improvements as opposed to others.

Nevertheless, many people can not deny the importance of enhancing public vehicles owing to the fact that there a plenty of problems that stick on todays' public transports. For instance, the safety issues that scare people on using some of public conveyance have led many people to turn back to use their private vehicles again, because convenience is the main need for passengers when they decide to use the public transport. As the result, the cities will be more crowded if these problems still not be fixed. Undirectly, it is able to worried the stability of the economic sector in the affected areas.

To conclude, although much of government expenditure should be directed to the construction of the new railway tracks for rapid trains between towns, spending money on improving the existing public transport is also required. A balance is needed to ensure the public services like this are preserved and remain available to all people.

(369 words)

dimdim02 7 / 13 1  
Aug 6, 2018   #2
hi, I would like to give you some feedbacks. but first, because of my English is not good, I wish you will not be angry if my feedback sounds useless.

In the introduction paragraph. you said -->> Though the former may possibly bring ... I think you should not write an opinion in introduction paragraph. better you write like this: This essay will discuss about these point of views.

I think 369 words is too much. good essay should contain 260-300 words.
zahranatsir 5 / 6 3  
Aug 7, 2018   #3
HI AWESOME! Here's some suggestion for your writing:

1. You better eliminate Some societies in and directly say some regions believe it is required to invest massive quantities of cash on building new railway tracks for accelerated trains among many towns.

2. Find another appropriate sentence rather than this it is too false as it sounds a little bit informal.
3. Related to your first body paragraph -- basically paragraph comprises of 3-5 sentences, therefore a little revision should be made on this body.
4. Overall it is a good essay, however i haven't seen your opinion in your essay which is what the essay actually asked you. Thus, you need to make clear that your statement is included in the essay.


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