Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


GRE Argument Task--recommendation on opening a cafe store


calvinhmw 9 / 21  
Jul 4, 2012   #1
Hi all, I'm currently practicing writing the GRE argument task. Here is the one I just finished. I'm not sure how to properly "explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation". Anyway, please leave me any feedback you like. Thanks!

Prompt:
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

My response:

It might seem true, at the first glance, that Monarch Books should open a café store to attract more people and maintain its good reputation; however, the author fails to make a logically convincing argument for his recommendation. While it is understandable that a café store may initially pique people's interest in visiting the bookstore, the argument is rife with untenable assumptions that fail to be further addressed.

Stating that Monarch Books enjoys a decent business due to its selection of books, the author assumes that it is the store's wide selection of books that maintains its large customer base. However, he does not explain how the selection of book keeps attracting a large number of customers. A wide selection of books may only attract people with various social backgrounds, but it does not make sure the number of customer is large. The author should answer the question regarding how large the number of customers is in a certain period in order to better defend his argument. The fact that a large customer influx occurs in the store would persuade his readers into believing that the selection of books has led to a large customer base.

Secondly, the author asserts that opening a store can attract more customers, but he fails to consider other factors that may affect the store's business. It may be true for a café store to be attractive at first; however, what if the price of the coffee is too high? If the price of the coffee in the store is set to be unaffordable to most customers, opening store does not necessarily help boost Monarch Books business. Even if the store does keep an average coffee price, it is also possible for the taste of the coffee to be insipid and fail to attract customers. On the other hand, even though the café does succeed in attracting more people, opening a store may even cause a decline in the customer base for the bookstore. The presence of people in the café can make the environment noisy. For readers expecting a silent reading environment, they can be distracted by the noise produced by the café store and thus become unsatisfied with Monarch Books, which would affect its business. To strengthen the argument, we need to make sure that readers are fine with a café store nearby and the majority of his customers prefer a café store to be built. A café store with a strong customer support can be used as stronger evidence in supporting the recommendation.

In addition, the author suggests removing the children's book section for the café store due to a decline in the population below 10. However, he may have falsely assumed that the children's section is mainly visited by children below 10. It is also possible for this section to be popular with children above 10. For example, if the children's section is selling books on video games, than it actually attracts a lot of teenagers. Therefore, the close of this section can even exacerbate Monarch Books' business. To support the argument, the author needs to make a survey on the age range of the people visiting the children's section. If the majority turns out to be below 10, the author then can mention this evidence in his recommendation.

Lastly, the author believes opening a café would increase Monarch Books' competitiveness against another store which also runs a café. However, these is a lack of concrete connection between the café store and the competitiveness. If the other store is run by much more experienced staff, or the other store is at a noticeable location, it has an advantage of attracting more customers than the Monarch's café store. In this case, the Monarch's café may experience a customer loss and a business decrease. Therefore, the author needs to answer the question which store is more capable of attracting customer. To support his recommendation, he should explain why his café store is superior over the other.

While a prestigious and long-lasting bookstore is enjoying its popularity among the public, the opening of a café store does not necessarily boost the bookstore's business. The author, who dogmatically states the necessity of opening a café store, needs to collect more sound evidence in supporting his recommendation.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 5, 2012   #2
However, he does not explain how the selection of books keeps attracting a large number of customers.

However, he does not explain how the selection of book keeps attracting a large number of customers. A wide selection of books may only attract people with various social backgrounds, but it does not make sure the number of customer is large.

--- well, this argument is not presented to the reader in a very convincing way. The author declares that Monarch Books has a large customer data base. Your argument is that he does not say it in a quantifiable manner which is necessary to assess the feasibility. But when you talk about the soical backgrounds of the customers, the reader gets confused about what you are trying to say.

Secondly, the author asserts that opening a cafe in the store can attract more customers, but he fails to consider other factors that may affect the store's business.

---- in the prompt, the store refers to the book store.

opening storea cafe does not necessarily help boost Monarch Books business.

You write well :)


Home / Writing Feedback / GRE Argument Task--recommendation on opening a cafe store
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳