IELTS Task 2: the arguments about living in apartment building

Q: Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. others say that people who live in high-rise apartmentd have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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Living individually in a high-rise apartment is one of the characteristic of modern people in huge cities. They believe that the flat has a much higher sense in community than the people, who live in houses, and the others consider that living in apartment demolishes all community spirit. In this case, I strongly believe that being an inhabitant of a condominium not bring excessive drawbacks for societies' live, because they can merely keep in touch among the dwellers with different circumstances. This essay will discuss both points of views.

In fact, the majority of people claim that the reason why people live in high-rise condominium lonely is to avoid disruption from their relatives and neighbours. It is because many apartment providers guarantee private life for citizens through the limited access to others, who are not interesting. For instance, many apartment dwellers communicate and interact with their neighbour, even they do not know anyone who rents the room next to their flat. Finally, the lack of community's interaction occurs and the communities are more individual.

On the other hand, the reason why living in apartment reduces all community spirit is too excessive because many of them can interact with their neighbours in other ways. For example, when they use the facilities, provided such as swimming pool, jogging track, and fitness center, they can build relationships and have friends to exercise together in similar condition. It proves that they do not leave the communication at all and the argument, saying that matter is not true everlasting.

To sum up, it is evident that being the apartment occupants does not demolish interaction among human beings at all. I think that it is better for societies to communicate with the others in many ways and circumtances.

Here some suggestions to be better


THAN THOSE OF PEOPLE LIVING IN HOUSES.

houses, and the others consider HOUSES. OTHERS CONSIDER THAT

all community spirit IT MIGHT BE BETTER FOR YOU TO PARAPHRASE THE WORD, SENSE OF COMMUNITY


LIVE IN SUCH CONDOMINIUM ALONE IS TO AVOID


TO OTHERS WHO ARE BASICALLY DISTURBING OR BOTHERING


ACTUALLY YOU SHOULD PROVIDE THE EXAMPLE WHICH RELEVANT TO MENTIONED TOPIC AT THE FIRST BODY PARAGRAPH.

They believe that the flat has a much higher sense in community than the people, who live in houses, and the (do not use 'the' in front of plural subject except you have mentioned it before) others consider that ...

I strongly(immensely) believe ...

In fact, the majority of people claim that the reason why people ... (this sentence is confusing)
In fact, majority of people claim that, the reason why citizens who live in high-rise condominium is lonely, due to they are avoid to involve others in their life

similar case with this sentence 'On the other hand, the reason why living in apartment reduces ...'
on the other hand, to say that living in apartment loses all community spirit is too superfluous, since the residents still have other way to interact one each other.