Hi everybody, even if I cannot do that here, please let me say that this website is AMAZING. Btw, I am aiming to Band 8 in writing tasks of IELTS. This is one of my essays. I checked it and to me it seems good, but I think I could do better. Can you help me?
It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative or practical subjects for which they may have more aptitude.
To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Some people argue that insisting on children to develop painting and drawing skills, even though they do not manifest an exceptional artistic predominance, is useless. According to them, it would be much more formative do encourage alternative classes that still can stimulate creativity. I do not tendo to completely agree with this idea, because of the possibility that they might see it as a failure.
To begin with, it is a common belief that children should not be forced to do something to which they do not feel comfortable doing. As a matter of fact, forcing them to practice in a subject they absolutely do not like will have several counter effects. Among all of them, it is well known that a too emphasized imposition leads to rejection. As a result, if forced to do painting classes when they would like to avoid them, children might end up with hating arts in all its forms. This would have a detrimental effect on their personality as whole, precluding them to express their artistic view of the world.
However, preventing them to take part to practical activities may have even a more negative impact. Children that are more sensible to other's judgment might start to develop guilty emotions or to feel as they were not good enough to be accepted. What is more, a painting done at school is not supposed to be a work of art, but a way of expressing their emotions. Objective evaluation of kids abilities is mostly impossible, since what may seem poor at someone's eyes could potentially result outstanding to another person.
As a result, either forcing them to participate or not, according only to our beliefs is counterproductive in both cases. In conclusion, I believe that the most important thing for children is to develop confidence in their capacities and a critic sensibility.
I beg your permission to give some suggestiona for your writing improvement.
if forced to do painting classes when they would like to avoid them,
It is better to add a subject between the bold words.
However, preventing them to take part to [s/ in] practical activities
it is better to change 'to' into 'in'.
Hopefully, these advice will be helpful.
