IELTS Task 2: Should all art subjects be abandoned or not?

diversity of subjects taught at universities should be maintained

Rising university fees and limited employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach art subjects like philosophy and history, and should only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment.

To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In a world where employment rate of university fresh graduates is decreasing while tuition fees is increasing rapidly, some people advocate the idea of abandoning all art subjects and focus the society's resources to practical degree with high employment rate. In my opinion, however, this is not beneficial to both students and the whole society as a whole.

Firstly, limiting major choices is disadvantageous to the development of young people. It is the students entering university who has the right to decide what to study for their future career. If a youngster chooses a major that has low employment rate, he, as an adult who bear full responsibility for his decision, understands the risk and will try harder while studying in order to get a job in the future. In addition, everyone is different in term of potential ability and interest so limiting the choice of subjects to the fields that guarantees a future job does not ensure that all students can learn these subjects well and have a successful career and a meaningful life.

Secondly, stop teaching all art subjects also harms the society as a whole. A single work once required knowledge in only one field now needs all kind of talents to be done. For example, a man working in marketing may have to know about psychology to understand customer or have knowledge about art to choose the best design for an advertisement. As a result, teaching subjects with low current employment rate is not a waste but a preparation for the future. Moreover, the whole society will loss potential talent resources if all art subjects are abandoned. In that case, we would never have art works whose value exist through the time or theories that can change the whole world.

In conclusion, the diversity of subjects taught at universities should be maintained regardless of the employment rate as this ensures that every young people can develop their potential ability fully and the society has all kind of talents it needs to develop sustainably.

I think you have to fix some mistakes:
- In the introduction: employment:-> the employment; tuition fees is-> tuition fees are;
- In the first paragraph of the body: adult who bear-> adult who bears; in term of potential-> in terms of potential
- In the second body paragraph: the society-> society; all kind-> all kinds; will lost-> will lose; art works-> artworks;
- In the conclusion: kind-> kinds

@nguyentran11
Thank you for your comment Nguyen

Please try to review the discussion requirements more thoroughly next time. You misrepresented the discussion in this essay as a benefit/drawback essay. It is actually an extent essay. Therefore, your response to the task requirement is wrong and will be considered totally unrelated to the task. However, you will be partially scored for the reasoning that you provided. The problem, is that even though your reasons fall in line with a proper explanation the given discussion topic, your essay will not get a proper TA score based on the non-response to the essay question. That means your final score, may not be very nice.

For this essay, you should have represented your disagreement with the given topic in a manner similar to the following:

These discussion assumptions have led me to develop an opinion on this subject. I have decided that I can justify a strong disagreement in relation to this subject.

While you will not lose points for writing more words, you are risking making general errors in terms of C&C and GRA scoring. These forced errors, caused by your focus on the word count instead of the clear discussion of the essay will result in all around points deductions on your part. You did not really leave yourself with editing time for this essay since you wrote 337 words. Aim to write 275-290 words next time. This is the target word count that allows you to properly discuss the essay without losing time to edit your work for grammar problems and clarity issues.

Thank you for your helpful comment