Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


october24 1 / -  
Feb 24, 2019   #1

the importance of art as a subject at school

Some people think that art is essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Individuals hold different opinions on the importance of art as a subject at school. While some question the value of studying art, others believe that it compliments the growth of students who think creatively. This essay will discuss why learning art is beneficial for children.

Art is considered as a waste of resources by some people. This is because they value the knowledge gained in other subjects like mathematics and science. Undertaking such subjects are believed to result in careers, such as doctors and engineers, that provide financial stability. Furthermore, in some communities, it increases their ranking in the social hierarchy. Hence, art is not encouraged by some individuals.

On the other hand, teaching art in school allows flexibility and creativity in learning. The greatest inventions are designed by creative thinkers, for example, aeroplanes designed by the Wright brothers. In addition, not all students are academically driven as their talent may lie in art or other subjects like music and drama. Therefore, the young students may feel motivated when they perform well in fields that they are naturally talented in. For these reasons, art is an essential subject for the development of some students.

In conclusion, whether art is a vital subject for students remains a controversial topic and has divided opinions. On one hand, certain people do not regard art as a beneficial subject to children; however, there are others who recognise its usefulness. I think art is an important component of education system which facilitates the different thinking and learning styles of children.
myngoc311 5 / 18 5  
Feb 25, 2019   #2
In my opinion, your essay is very well written. Your vocabulary is rich. Just a few nit-picking things from me.

Undertaking ... result in financially stable careers, ... engineers, that provide financial stability.
The greatest Many ground-breaking inventions are were/have been designed by ...

I hope my feedback is helpful. If you have time, please help with my interview question too. Thanks a lot.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,519 3442  
Feb 25, 2019   #3
@october24 I think you forgot that there are English words that are pronounced the same, but are spelled differently and mean different things In your essay you used the word complement when it should have been compliment. The official explanation regarding the difference is as follows:

Complement and compliment, which are pronounced alike and originally shared some meanings, have become separate words with entirely different meanings. As a noun, complement means "something that completes or makes perfect": As a verb, complement means "to complete"; The verb compliment means "to pay a compliment to".

As you can see, the word sound can be a tricky thing to deal with. Just because it sounds the same, doesn't mean it was spelled the same. You need to be familiar with the difference regarding same sounding words.

The main problem with your essay though, is that you did not properly paraphrase the discussion instructions, which led to a prompt deviation in your presentation. Let's illustrate the differences below:

Original prompt: Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Restatement: This essay will discuss why learning art is beneficial for children.

By changing the discussion instruction, you have essentially failed the test. You have proven that you do not understand the English language enough to follow simple instructions. However, your actual discussion does follow the original instructions to a certain extent. Therefore, you will lose points in the TA section for the inaccuracy of your restatement. This is the major scoring consideration for the essay so you may end up with a lower score than you would have if you had properly paraphrased the discussion instruction in the first paragraph.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: IS ART AN USEFUL SUBJECT TO STUDY?