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Artificial gills enabling human to breath under the water.

NinaJoesuf25 36 / 66 4  
Dec 6, 2016   #1
Needless to say, organisms use their own characteristic to take a breath such as mammals use their lung for helping them to draw in breathe while fish use gills for this activity. It is inevitably that most of people dream of swimming under the water without any hardship. They are passionate about the newest emerged technology that is able to extract the oxygen become some tools in order to people receive the oxygen consumption. In the bygone era, some researchers would predict that in the immediate future, people can dwell in the water without any harm. After many times, the scientists in collaborate with inventors made an advanced in technology to evolve this idea. Astonishingly, the result of their experiment came up with insect can live in the water for the long run with using bubble of air via the tiny tubes. By looking this animal adaptations, dwelling in the water for people become a common desire for most of people in the whole world.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,848 2137  
Dec 6, 2016   #2
Nina, once again you seemingly present a personal opinion in what should be an objective summation of an article that you have just read. By the way, were is the link to the article for our reference? The summary is good but lacks in actual information since you do not refer to the proper keywords, terms, or descriptions for the various options that you present in this essay. Who were the scientists who undertook this experiment? Where was it done? You have to refrain from making these summaries an opinion paper because your opinion is not called for.

So do not use terms such as "Needless to say" because this connotes a personal opinion on your part instead of information coming from the essay. It also changed the overall focus of the essay from a summary to an opinion because you placed it at the start of the summary introduction. Always make it clear that you are just offering a summary of information and content and not a personal opinion. That is easy to do provided you stop using words that define the content as an opinion rather than a part of the information from the original source.

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