Hellooo there, you have written a good writing report in IELTS, but sadly some flaws appear somewhere around. Here they are:
1. A good paragraph consists of at least three sentences. Some paragraphs above did not meet the requirement. If you write this in the real exam, then it will have your score deducted in Coherence and Cohesion.
2. Most students start with this phrase
The table represents the total number of visitor
. Although this is a common approach to do so, that way is too generic and brings nothing in the way you paraphrase the prompt. Let me give you a try for this:
A comparison of the total visitors going to Ashwdown Museum after the developers refurbished it is presented in the table, while the charts illustrates the surveys based on the changes seen in this museum. The survey collected various responses given from the visitors. The key features of the data will be summarized and delivered thoroughly in this report writing.
Overall, the Ashdown museum renovation
It is suggested that you need to compose a 2-sentence overview as to cover the general trends and the key points from the graphs. Also, you are not allowed to put figures, numbers or any specific data in this part. Save them for the body paragraphs.
4. When it comes to body paragraphs, clearly check the similarities and diversities of the data, then you need compare and contrast them with the languages used in the IELTS writing task 1. What stands out from your presentation above does not clearly state what IELTS wants you to do so. You simply list the data without any comparison,and this is the biggest mistake that most IELTS students do.
Hope this helps you :)