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assignment - do you agree with the idea that children have a pet


changcap 1 / -  
May 25, 2019   #1
[b]I agree that children should have a pet. The first reason is that they will be responsibe when they have a pet beside . Because kids have to feed, bathe and bring them walking out. Therefore, children learn important skills to taking care of another living creture. Another reason is that kids do exercise more. Having a pet help children to get outdoor and cuddle a pet reduces stress, loneliness, anxiety. Moreover, playing with dogs may help them lower blood pressure. The last reason is that pets will be their friend or their sibling. Kids are the only one no have sibling, a pet helps them feel less lonely, bring joy and fullfillment. Children also learn how to " share" their parent's time and their own space. Kids are more respectful, more kind, and have a big love for the animal.

p/s: please, help me check my grammar , my sencentes , and everything you feel unlogic. because my writting skill is not good.
thank you so much.

Maria [Contributor] - / 971 346  
May 25, 2019   #2
@changcap
Hi there!

Be cautious of the forms of the words that you use in your essay. Watch out for the way that you transition between your sentences. You can do this through trying out more organic means. Imagine as though you are uttering the sentences, not necessarily writing everything. This will give you more of an idea of how naturally write. The progression of your transitions should also be relevant and appropriate to that of what would be the formatting of your overall text.

Be wary of the punctuation and preposition that you have; all of these facets would contribute to the formality of your essay. This academic standard is critical in determining how your essay will flow.

Taking a look at what you have now, we can make the following revisions:

I agree that children should have pets. Firstly, once they are responsible enough, it will work out. As having pets require being responsible and proactive: feeding, bathing, and walking them out. Children are exposed to learning important taking care skills. Furthermore, they are also encouraged to exercise more with their pets. Having pets can also help reduce stress, loneliness, and anxiety; this can lower the overall blood pressure, relaxing the individual. [...]

Notice how I had tried to incorporate various techniques in the process of writing. Doing this will enable you to have your best foot forward.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors!


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