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attending in university


oranji 1 / -  
Feb 23, 2014   #1
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experience, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In some countries attending at a college or a university is competitive because of its importance. In my opinion, people can change their life's direction if they attend college or university. I feel this way for many main reasons. First, they can improve their prospects for life. Second, they find a great chance to learn and discover new things. Third, they establish professional connections in the university. In spite of diverse attitudes toward this subject, according above reasons attending college or university is a stellar achievement for the people.

To begin with, one of the main (primary) advantages of the attending college or university is improving your prospects for life. University graduates gain qualifications such as a knowledge of a particular field of study, skills, and experience which are recognized and respected worldwide. Attending university give a great chance to student getting involved in extracurricular activities which shows you honour commitments, know how to prioritize and meet deadline, team work, being a leadership, can multitask, have good networking and social skills, care enough about the world around you, and intelligently managing time, all of the skills beside the main field of study result in increases chance of putting in the head of the game as you are looking for a decent job although some field of study have lower graduate employment rate than others, and then one of the evaluation of the quality of the life is a job's traits. For example, when I was studying at the university, I joined in the club which was made by international students and its major work was holding extra programs for the students such as a trip, games, and contests. On the other hand, my major interest was a circuit design, but I have a passionate and willing to extracurricular activities due to its skills, experiences, and interactions with others that had various cultures. Consequently, thanks to my experiences and skills not only in the field of study but also in the club, likewise, strong resume, was proposed a decent job with a high payment along with an insurance.

Second, the major aim of the universities and colleges is providing an environment for students to discover and learn new things. University education exposes students to the new technology and research, and encourage creative and independent thought. In fact, you will be able to absorb information and get tools and ability to apply your knowledge in the practical problem. However, the abilities depend on the agility and the diligence of the students to use the opportunities. Moreover, the other side effects of the university is fertilizing the talents and exposing to the other cultures and background. For instance, when I was a child, I was interested in studying on the electrical circuits, this dream leads me to go to the university and open up a new world for me to investigate and follow my dream, I got a great chance to irrigate my ideas and implement them a reality, and collecting a best friends with stellar behavior.

Third, guiding a life needs to have a connection or an interaction with others, so students can establish professional connections. University is where the student builds their adult network and find a new friends with diverse cultures and attitudes that they may make up their future contact so that students can use this opportunity to preserve their relationship even after graduate from the university because the connection have benefits in finding a job. Furthermore, the friends and mentors become a future contact and colleagues. For example, I still have a connection with my instructor and friends, for about the research I refer to my professor, and for entertainment to my friends.

To sum it up, I feel that attending college or university is a big opportunity to change your life. This is because a university education positively affects your prospect for life, open up a quiet and challenging environment to explore the world around you, and you will find new professional friends and mentor that make up your future contact and relationship. Choosing a university amends not only yourself, but also your entire destiny.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Feb 23, 2014   #2
You tend to overuse certain words for this essay. If this comes in the real exam, then I am afraid that you can't even beat the time.

First, they can improve their prospects for life. Second, they find a great chance to learn and discover new things. Third, they establish professional connections in the university.

You'd better not mention these points in intro. Save them for bodies of para.

Attending university give a great chance to student getting involved in extracurricular activities which shows you honour commitments, know how to prioritize and meet deadline, team work, being a leadership, can multitask, have good networking and social skills, care enough about the world around you, and intelligently managing time, all of the skills beside the main field of study result in increases chance of putting in the head of the game as you are looking for a decent job although some field of study have lower graduate employment rate than others, and then one of the evaluation of the quality of the life is a job's traits.

You'd better shorten these sentences. The reason is to help your readers easy understand the main point you have.

I was interested in studying on the electrical circuits, this dream leads me to go to the university and open up a new world for me to investigate and follow my dream, I got a great chance to irrigate my ideas and implement them a reality, and collecting a best friends with stellar behavior.

This pattern runs together. Therefore, it is hard to gain what the purpose of this sentence. I suggest you to split this by putting one-two conjunctions.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 24, 2014   #3
Hi
There a few admin requests I need to make. First you should have a meaningful title for your essay (do this in the subject field when you open a new thread). Also you should open your thread in the most appropriate forum. In this case it is the Writing Feedback. These are forum rules and hope you would start complying with them with your next thread :) We have attended to your essay title and the forum category.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Mar 6, 2014   #4
Well, there is no doubt you can write very well. However, I have a feeling that you may have run out of time because your essay seems to be pretty long. If you have done this as a practice test for IETLS or TOEFL, then you have to be mindful about the time factor a lot. If this is for such purpose, stick to the 4 para structure that includes the Intro, 2 body paras and conclusion.


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