Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Australian Bureau of Meteorology weather prediction - Cambrigde 1, test 2, writing task 1



hoangvu 1 / -  
Apr 26, 2020   #1

forecasting the weather



The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on weather in order to produce reliable forcasts.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

You should write at least 150 words.

answer:
The diagram below illustrates the ways used by Australian Bureau of Meteorology for forecasting the weather.
There are four stages in this process, begging with the collection of informations and they will be analysed and forocasted. Then, the preparing the broadcast step will be done by the computer with the resulting data of the previous step, and finally they are broadcasted to the public.

Looking at the left half of the process , there are three ways to collect the weather data and three ways of analyzing this figure. Firstly , incoming information can be received by the satellite and it will be analysed by using the satellite photo. The same data also can be collected by the radar station and the drifting bouy and it is transmitted through the radar screen or synoptic chart to analyse.

Regarding the rest of the process, the analysed data will be sent to the computer to preparing the broadcast. And final step, it is delivered to the public on television, on the radio or on the recorded announcement.


  • question


Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15411  
Apr 27, 2020   #2
This is actually a 4 paragraph report. Why is it 4 paragraphs? Look at the image. It is a flow chart. A flow chart indicates how information is disseminated after analysis. in this case the chart flows in 3 ways:

- From the satellite
- from the radar
- From the drifting buoy

The information presentation requires 3 descriptive paragraphs. You only wrote 2, which were not data accurate. You need to identify the process by information source, not left and right, top or bottom. The overall essay shows a lack of clear analysis and understanding of the image you were given.

You misused words in the essay: begging = beginning. The overall presentation is confusing because of presentation redundancies, and a lack of proper analysis of the information. You needed to spend a bit more time outlining the procedures, based on the 3 sources of information so that the presentation of the data paragraphs would have been clearer.

You are not prepared for the advanced reporting system yet. You do not have enough English vocabulary nor understanding to be able to pull off these intricate reports. Use only the basic reports for now. You are just getting started anyway. Don't use the complicated stuff yet. You are simply not ready for it.


Home / Writing Feedback / Australian Bureau of Meteorology weather prediction - Cambrigde 1, test 2, writing task 1
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳