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Australian people like watching movies in cinemas. IELTS WRITING TASK 1


Andre kusuma 1 / -  
Nov 18, 2015   #1
A comparison of the propotion of places visited by different people living in Australia is illustrated in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that, Cinema is the popular place which are visited by people born in Australia and new migrants people born in Englih-speaking countries, while new migrants people born in other countries prefer to visit the library.

Zoo and theatre have been dominated by visitor from people Born in Australia, by 50% in zoo and 25% in Theather, wich are followed close behind by new migrants from English-speaking countries with around 10% differences, while new migrant born in other countries is the lowest visitor percentage in this places. In contrast, people born in other country show a superiority in the propotion resident who are visited library, exceeding 50%.

In cinema, People Born in Australia is by far the most visitor of the three group of Australian. Breaking a record of visitor by 70%, it is noted as the highest propotion of people who are visited some places. New migrants people stand at the second and third position with 65% for migrants born in English-speaking countries and 50% for the others.




Luthfia Dewi 7 / 12 4  
Nov 18, 2015   #2
Halo @Andre Kusuma, I'm Luthfia. May I give some suggestions?

A comparison of the propotionproportion of places visited by ...

... Cinema is the most popular place which areis visited by people born in Australia ... prefer to visit the library.

To begin with,
zoo and theatre ... by 50% in zoo and 25% in theathertheater, wichwhich are followed close ...

... show a superiority in the propotionproportion resident who are visited library, exceeding 50%.For more details,in cinema, the people who Born in Australia is by far ...

...noted as the highest propotionproportion of people who are visited some place while New migrants people ...
mumtazdinar 12 / 15 12  
Nov 18, 2015   #3
Hi Andre,

These are some suggestions for your writing:

A comparison of the propotion of places visited by different people living in Australia is illustrated in the bar chartThe bar graph compares the proportion of .... Overall, it can be seen that,(no comma)Cinema is the popular place which are visited by people born in Australia and new migrants people born in Englih-speaking countries, while new migrants people born in other countries prefer to visit the library. while people who born in Australia and new migrants are more likely visiting the Cinema, new migrant people who born in other countries prefer to visit the library.

It is better if you use an active sentence to explain the chart. Likewise, you can discuss the chart by grouping people categories or the type of places. Do not forget to use some words like "while, whilst, although, however" for making a comparison

Good Luck and Happy Writing
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Nov 18, 2015   #4
The bar graph gives information about four different attractions that three brackets always visit in Australia. Overall, while new migrants tend to visit library ,more Australians and migrants from English-speaking countries go to cinema if compared to theatre and zoo.

Some problems with spelling can be solved if you spend your time checking them prior to submitting your report here.


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