In many countries all around the world
This is a redundant reference. Many countries already implies a global coverage. simply place a comma at the end of " many countries" and proceed with the restatement presentation.
put a law to monthly income is necessary and the governments should enact the law to solve this problem.
There is no clarity to the opinion statement. What sort of law? A bill? A resolution? A senate Act? What is the content or subject of the law?
At this point the task accuracy of the essay will have opinion clarity scoring issues. Specially since the opinion response does not answer the discussion gquestion. It does not ask if a law is needed . It asks if a cap should be placed on salaries. 2 different questions with only the latter needing a response in this presentation. The essay presentation is not related to the orginal presentation.