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The automobile improvement causes some serious problems


irhame 52 / 50 25  
Nov 3, 2015   #1
Question: Some people think that the automobile has improved modern life. Others think that the automobile has caused serious problems. What is your opinion? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer.

Modern technology has influenced people's preference. As such, while some believe that the automobile witnesses a dramatic improvement today due to effectiveness and long-distance travel, I would argue that such issue will bring some crucial problems such as bottleneck traffic and air pollution.

People are more likely to use car for travelling. This is because the private cars have enough power to help them making a long journey. For example, A 2013 recent New York Times revealed that 80% inhabitants in America use their private cars to travel to some resorts thanks to good engine power. As a result, the car was being a favorite vehicle for moving to particular places. Therefore, the sophisticated car takes the responsibility of traveling. Not only this, such vehicle also gives more effective time as people should not waste more much time to move anywhere.

Apart from this, there are some huge problems occurring owing to the improvement of automobiles. Firstly, it causes extremely traffic congestion. If people prefer using the modern cars, they will drive these private cars on the streets which affect the long traffic congestion. Secondly, such automobiles produce gas emission. These emissions will reduce the fresh air in our environment, then inevitably a hard disease like ISPA threats human habitats.

To conclude, even though the car experienced an extreme improvement today due to long journey and productive time, I totally believe that this improvement causes some dire effects such as long traffic congestion and minimum fresh air. Where possible, the automobiles factories should produce cars which have little toxin.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Nov 4, 2015   #2
Body I suggestion : A paraphrase of improving life in your first body would be strengthen your claim on time and energy efficiency of car travel

Apart from this

Apart from its tangible benefit,

Apart from this, there are some hugeconsiderable problems occurring owing to the improvement of automobiles. Firstly, it causes extremely traffic congestion. If people prefer using the modern cars, they will drive these private cars on the streets which affectmay raisethe long traffic congestion. Secondly, such automobiles produce gas emission. These emission effect will reducedetractthe fresh air in our environment, then inevitably increase the risk of Upper Respiratory Track Infections, a hard disease like ISPA threats human habitats. an infectious respiratory disease caused by bacteria, mycoplasma and fungi.

Aside from my previous suggestions, I am afraid that you failed to provide one of prompt requirements, example(s)/fact, in your second body.To gain a good score, it is necessary to fulfil all of the task responses. Be more peruse further :D


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