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"Avenger series" - IELTS Writing Essay: Foreign Films > Local Films


Chrishuynh 1 / 1  
Sep 23, 2020   #1
Topic:

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films.


Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

These days, movies produced from foreign countries are highly supported more than local ones. This essay will discuss the reasons leading to this and I believe that governments should give regional movie industries an opportunity to develop by funding supports.

There a various reasons which many people are attracted with foreign films. One of them is there are many all-star casts gathered in the films whose fans spread out over the world and always highly appraise their idols will give the fans excellent performances which are going to entirely satisfy cinema admirers. Another reason is that almost foreign movies are high-budget ones, therefore they have been manufactured with many extremely fantastic effects by the most accomplished directors and producers that audiences acknowledge them incredible and are completely allured. "Avenger series" is a prime example, all the movies in the series were applied high-tech cinematic technique which made them amazingly realistic and vivid.

Besides, we should not ignore the regional films and governments should assist them to develop. I personally consider there are a lot of undiscovered talent actors, actress, and directors in cinematic industries but due to lack of budget, ideas from brilliant scripts could not be successfully explored. It is easily understood that producers have to compete to pay for films crew, hence it is extremely daunting for them to produce high-quality movies although the casts are sufficiently fine to star. If governments invest money to local manufactured films and call out for donation to their national films production, these will give those promising actors, actress and directors chances and advantages to demonstrate their aptitude are worth being well-known as equal as famous others from many other countries, especially from Hollywood.

In conclusion, people today fancy watching films from other countries as a result of several reasons related to superstars and incredible effects. However, headers of every nation should think about development of regional movies industries and financial assistance is necessary.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,325 3356  
Sep 23, 2020   #2
322 words is a bit too long for a Task 2 essay. This has caused some forced errors in your presentation that could have been avoided if you had written 275-290 words. You should really make sure to review your paper before considering it final and ready for scoring.

The prompt paraphrase is good, but fails to present the reasons that you would like to discuss in the essay. There are 2 clear responses that you should have answered towards the end of the paraphrase to complete the first part of the Task Accuracy scoring section. That is:

- What is the reason?
- Should government support local film making?

Your non-response doesn't help to add to your score because, as the word connotes, it does not add information to the paragraph, leaving it less informative than it should have been in terms of TA considerations.

You are only being asked to provide one reason in the first reasoning paragraph. Had you done that, you would have been able to better represent your explanation of the main reason you see for the popularity of foreign films. At this point, you are only providing reasons, but not really explaining the relevance of the reason through the use of supporting statements and relevant examples.

The first half of your second reasoning paragraph is irrelevant. You should have had a relevant topic sentence at the start of that paragraph. The response should have properly started at the 4th paragraph and then worked in the other information that are currently at the start of the paper. You just used the wrong format in that presentation, which prevented the response from providing the expected format and discussion clarity based on the question provided.

Your concluding paragraph should not start with the generic reference to "In conclusion". You should use a more creative close. Maybe something like "So, people like to watch foreign films because... That is why governments should... By doing so, people should begin to watch more local films." Or something like that. Use 3 sentences that will properly refer to the original topic and the discussion points you provided.
OP Chrishuynh 1 / 1  
Sep 24, 2020   #3
@Holt Thank you very much for you assessment. By the way, wouldn't you mind grading me the band of this essay? I'm really intrigued.


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