IELTS TASK 2: The average age at which workers retire appears to vary widely around the world.

Anfalia 40 / 56

Feb 6, 2015 #1

The average age at which workers retire appears to vary widely around the world. What factors contribute to deciding retirement age?
How are societies advantaged or disadvantaged by workers retiring early?

More attention should be paid when it comes to work retirement. While this phenomenon becomes a broaden-horizon these days, the number of retire people are more likely to rise over decades. While this trend leads several factors, I am personally convinced that workers retiring early address some advantages and disadvantages for citizens relating to their future lives.

Admittedly, the case of retirement age leads to several factors. The suitable retirement age enable to be considered by an organization or individual. For some developed and developing country at which have the huge younger population enable to open the door largely in the workforce by forcing worker's retirement an earlier age. The purpose of this is to obtain professional workers selectively. Conversely, a state with fewer numbers of populations may wish to extend the working lives so that people in workforce maintains its economic competitiveness.

In addition, the simplify factor for employ people to decide the early retirement is financial trouble. As an obvious fact, the older worker in industry decides to leave his job soon as a way of saving money on salaries. This phenomenon happen as worker work for a long time in this job, but he does not get the enhancement of salary. As a result, finance enable to be crucial factor in the case of people retire.

Conversely, the early retirement also addresses distinct drawbacks for society. Firstly, as citizens, they receive less tax revenue and must pay benefits to a larger portion of populations as a result in employee retired. Furthermore, societies are less of considerable expertise and experience from older workers offer. Some employees in young ages cannot be guaranteed to have wide experience to run of business well.

In conclusion, as the more popular work retirement, people should bear in mind before taking the decision to retire from their jobs. Where possible, the authorities should allow workers to retire later in a whole of their life, and it is expected to avoid the associated disadvantages to society of an early retirement.

somasalims 15 / 27

Feb 7, 2015 #2

More attention should be paid when it comes to work retirement. While this phenomenon becomes a broaden-horizon these days, the number of retire people are more likely to rise over decades. While this trend leads several factors, I am personally convinced that workers retiring early address some advantages and disadvantages for citizens relating to their future lives.

Honestly, the introduction is hard to understand.
-'More attention should be paid ' needs a noun, I think. e.g. 'More attention should be paid on something '
-'a broaden-horizon ' means 'to increase the range of things that someone knows about, has experienced, or is able to do', so I'm not sure to use it in the sentence.

-Overall, I think that the introduction do not cover all information from the question.