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Writing Task 1: The average daily figures for Channel One News over a 12-month period


nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 19, 2016   #1
A breakdown of the information about the number of viewers per day measured by millions for Channel One News over a 12-month period in four part times is revealed in a line chart. Overall, all of the figures showed different trend. The most popular channel news was watched in 9.30pm.

It can be seen that, the 6pm and 1pm news experienced as the favourite and the most unpopular channel news. To begin with, just under 5 million viewers in January, then the 6pm news fell gradually almost over 3 million in the last two years. Meanwhile, the 1pm news witnessed a steady increase until the end of period.

The two channel news that showed a dramatic change of gazer's number over a 12-month period. The 9.30pm news stood at just above 3 million visitors, and then it dipped to almost 1 millions in August, and in the last four months increased markedly to the same point which it started. There was a sharp rise in the number of 11pm news viewers, when it was introduced on 1st may, but after hit a high point approximately 4 million, it showed a gradual rise until the end of period solely at fewer than 1 million viewers.


  • The average daily figures for Channel One News over a 12-month period

akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Nov 19, 2016   #2
Hi Miss Aini.
These are my thought toward your writing.


Overall, all of the figures showed different tren

As we see, those certainly experience different trend. Whereas you did not mention, readers will know that you will change without seeing the graph because you create the meaningless overview. It will seem as hackneyed sentences. Avoid them.

The most popular channel news was watched in 9.30pm.

Are you sure that the most popular news is 9.30 program, not 6 pm program? You have to be careful of reading the data. Your score will fall if you describe the data appropriately.

OVERALL, IT CAN OBVIOUSLY SEEN THAT CHANNEL ONE HAD DIVIDED NEWS PROGRAMS INTO THREE TIMES PER DAY, BUT THE COMPANY HAD HAD A POLICY TO ADD BROADCASTING THE NEWS AT 11 PM SINCE 1ST MAY. FURTHERMORE, VIEWERS HAD TENDED TO WATCH NEWS AT 6 PM.

The 9.30pm news stood at just above 3 million visitors, and then it dipped to almost 1 millions in August, and in the last four months ...

Honestly, your grouping is not enough interesting because you play safely. You are likely to describe the data separately, not to compare amongst the figures. You cannot get the high score if you do that since one of the prompts is comparing the figures. Please, you call your attention to this matter.

Keep Writing..
GOOD LUCK
tasnimf 1 / 2  
Nov 19, 2016   #3
What you've written is very nice and detailed to properly analyze the graph. However, I feel that some clarity is needed regarding the significance of each. You've analyzed each trend and have described it but a bit more detail is needed (such as: why is this important? how is this effective? etc.). It follows an analytical structure in which it seems as if you're just reading off the chart without necessarily understanding the background or relations. But if that's what you were aiming for, you did great!


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