The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.

IELTS writing task 2 - argumentative essay

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Health rate standardization has been issued to reduce its average in the forthcoming time compared to present days. Having short dining time due to people's tight schedule in workplace has caused unhealthy eating habits. Provided by many choices of various foods also leads people's tendency on healthy life style significantly to change. This essay fully support the statement of the lowering in healthy standardized rate presumably occur in the time to come in regards to busy owning to limited mealtime workers and a plethora of food choices being today living style.

People getting involved in various activities in workplace tend to be frantic. Hence, employees may do not have enough time to eat nutrient dishes sufficiently for prioritizing to finish their jobs because well-prepared foods consume lots of time to make. Junk foods or instant noodle with addictive substances would be the most preferable chosen for fulfilling their appetite in a short break. These fast foods are not fresh containing less vitamins and minerals but more unnecessary fats or refined carbohydrates raising the blood cholesterol level. Thus, falling to frantic activities lead work officers being unable to manage food consumption properly.

Majority people choosing their meals in this day concern on variety of tasty servings rather than foods with complex carbohydrates. This tendency of enjoying such popular foods harms their needs of nourishing their body leading to sickness. Popularity of spicy flavor for illustration, since spicy dishes become viral among global community due to the spiciness sensation gaining while eating such meals, too much scalding effects would affect stomachache of the consumer obtaining measly nutrition. Accordingly, loads of food choice influence people rarely eating good foods.

To conclude, continuing this diet habit is more apt to decrease the standard of health percentage in the future society considering workers today become less concern of getting balance diet. A vulnerable recommendation would be paying more consideration of having healthy life style from foods could stabilize the rate of health standard.

@Hirumi
I think to get a good score, you should check on your grammar first. I see that your essay has some mistakes such as: "Majority people choose their ... carbonhydrates"

"Thus, falling ... leads work officers to be unable to ...

@Thangnguyen315
Thank you for your comments but you need to check your understanding in reducing adjective clause in grammatical rules. Because the verb 'choosing' is regarding to reducing since the main verb is 'concern' as well as 'being'... 'to be unable' is correct also but it has different sense of expression. If I have other aspects that I could improve in my writing, I'm very welcome.

That was one heck of a confusing first paragraph. It doesn't really summarize the task well enough to score well. Your response isn't really very good in the thesis portion because you do not clearly discuss the point of the essay prompt. It appears that you have failed to properly summarize or paraphrase the original prompt. Your response is only partially correct because you began discussing evidence in the opening paragraph, which is never allowed. Your body of paragraphs does not properly support the original prompt instructions either. You seem to have created your own essay discussion at this point. Totally disregarding the original prompt and its discussion requirements.