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TED - Averting the Climate Crisis. Make the massive persuasion campaign.


Aris05 31 / 24 1  
Aug 25, 2016   #1
What can you do about the climate crises ? In couple of days, we acquire the new temperature records in January. Prior average of januaries is 31 degrees but last month reached 39.5 degress. There are some cuases that spark the conditon. First of all, US contribution within globar warming under bussines as usual. Then there are cars and trucks leading the global warming because they are very significant and have the lowest standards in the world. The more global warming pollution come from buildings. To avoid the climate crises we can reduce emissions in home like buy green electricity, be a green consumer and make a decision to live a carbon natural life. Utilizing carbon calculator is neccesary in order to you can exactly count CO2 emissions. Next, you can consider making your business carbon neutral. Integrate climate solution into all of your innovations. Become catalyst of change in society, teach others about climate crises, and active in the politic to make democracy work. Make the massive persuasion campaign to influence many people Let's rebrand global warming "climate crises" instead of "planet collapse".

Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Aug 26, 2016   #2
Hello Aris05

You need to adjust some of your sentences to sound more stylistically refined. Here are my suggestions:

In couple of days [...] In a few days, the temperature records for January have hit new highs.
Prior average [...] Whereas, the average temperature in January is 31 degrees, the last month it has reached 39.5 degrees.
There are [...] a number of reasons for this to be the case.
First of all [...] the US-based industries continue to contribute to global warming.
Then there are Cars and trucks [...] contribute to the process, as well - just as it is being the case with large buildings.
we canshould reduce [...] the emissions of carbon monoxide into the atmosphere.
Utilizing carbon [...] In this respect, using carbon calculator will come indispensable.
Next [...] Second, businesses can consider becoming carbon-free.
and active [...] and adopt an active political stance for that democracy could work.
Make the [...] Strive to persuade people to act in an environmentally friendly manner.

I hope this helped. Regards.
dinartika19 37 / 67 6  
Aug 30, 2016   #3
Hi Aris!

we acquireecquired the new temperature records in January.

Prior average of januariesJanuary's tempereature

The moremost global warming pollution is come from buildings.

To avoid the climate crises , we can reduce emissions inat home likesuch as buy green electricity, be a green consumer and make a decision to live a carbon natural life.

Next, you canshould consider making your business carbon neutral.

The examples are become catalyst of change in society, teach others about climate crises, and active in the politic to make democracy work.

Make the massive persuasion campaign to influence many people Let's ... => I'm confused with your sentence, no subject and verb


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