This article, which appeared in the Health and Wellness Section of the Chicago Sun Times (3rd March 2001),
If I were you, I would not use the expression "this article". You can write :" An article about xxx was published in the Health and Wellness Section of the Chicago Sun Times on 3rd March 2001, in which it was revealed that ...
Furthermore it was stated that people who are
in theat high risk category forof catching the flu should avoid prolonged exposure to the sun. To me, this conclusion was formedstands on from a very narrowsuperficial knowledge ("knowledge" is an uncountable noun and you cannot use "a" before it) and could be criticized as being incomplete and be challenged on many fronts .
this is an uncountable noun and you cannot use it in plural form.
these medical records were of
a comprehensive researchinvestigations OR "a comprehensive research report"
This conclusion asserts that through the years that had heavy sunspot activity,
had the worst flu epidemics was experienced .
the other years
Moreover, during the alleged six years of major flu epidemics there were many other possible reasons and factors such as xxxx that could contribute to the outbreak and the spread of these epidemics.
Actually flu can be contracted in areas with very poor hygiene. Water contamination or poor hygiene standards in the transportation of water supply can result in a flu epidemic. Limited medical supplies can also affect how a flu epidemic is treated. Flu can be the result of weather changes whether man made or natural or living conditions of the society, too.
support what you claim. You talked about weather, but you did not explain why it influences the spread of the flu.
This conclusion ignored
u used past tens here while at the beginning of the third paragraph you used present tens "the conclusion asserts..". Use the same tens throughout the essay.
Proper medical facilities and standards are the important elements
there is not enough evidence to prove the statement that prolonged exposure to the sun could
result incontribute to the distribution of the flu and that of flu epidemics
It is very possible that the two facts
: that of sunspot activity and that of flu epidemics are completely havethere is no direct correlation between them with each other.
Generally this argument conclusion can be criticized for being drawn on a very weak evidence and a narrow scope.
this sentence is not necessary because you wrote it previously.