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GRE AWA Issue Analysis ; Studying major cities helps understand their society


FatimaK 1 / 2 1  
Oct 19, 2013   #1
Hi,

Appreciate your feedback.

Question:
To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Answer:

Studying major cities is crucial in understanding any society because of the population intensity. Therefore, to a certain extent I agree with the statement, however, studying major cities is only one aspect of understanding any society as there are many other factors that need to be studies to have more accurate and holistic understanding. Below are some of these aspects that can have direct effects on society.

To understand the most important characteristics and traits of any society person must examine all aspects of this society. Focusing on major cities only will not give an accurate and sound understanding because each city has its own characteristics. For example in my country Bahrain, defiantly you won't understand Bahraini society by studying only major cities which are Manama, Muharraq and Riffa. Each of these cities has its own unique demographics and each has its own culture, true that each of these cities societies make up Bahrain overall society, but there are many other cities that contribute equally to Bahrain overall society. Therefore, to understand Bahrain or any another society you have to have a feel of each of it cities and villages cultures and demographics.

History can play a major role in defining any society characteristics, understanding a country history can tell us a lot about it society because it will give us a sense of how did this society originate. For example Bahrain history tells a lot about the different ancient civilizations and cultures that originate in Bahrain and how did these different cultures affected Bahrain existing society.

Furthermore, Education, Health and development levels can affect our understanding of any society. Understanding the level of Education the people hold and Education system that this society apply and its healthcare system are crucial aspects that define society well being and has a direct affects to its characteristics. For instance, a society which's well educated with advance healthcare is different from a society of poor health system and weak education. This tells us a lot about demographics and characteristics of its people and society future.

However, some big countries like India, it will be very hard to study each city/village demographics and characteristics, Therefore, major cities can tell a lot about the society, culture and way of living, for example Mumbai or Delhi in India can tell us a lot about Indian society, its diversion and mix of different religions and traditions, healthcare systems and education. As a result, studying major city to understand its society can work for some countries like India. But it won't work for Bahrain.

To conclude, although studying major cities plays an important role in understanding a society, however there are many other crucial aspects that need to be studied also, like educations, small villages' cultures, health and development. In addition to consider the society own characteristics in determining what need to be studied to understand the society.

OP FatimaK 1 / 2 1  
Oct 19, 2013   #2
Any Feedback Please.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Oct 19, 2013   #3
Studying major cities is crucial in understanding any societybecause of the population intensity.

.... the link between this act and the population is not properly established. The reader finds its difficult to connect the two :(

. Therefore, to a certain extent I agree with the statement,

.... this is your thesis statement and it is recommended to place your thesis as the final sentence in your introduction.
Like in any other general essay, it is good to open your introduction with a hook that grabs the reader's attention. Then discuss the background and finally express your opinion.
OP FatimaK 1 / 2 1  
Oct 20, 2013   #4
Hi Pahan,

Thanks for your kind feedback.

FatimaK:
Studying major cities is crucial in understanding any society because of the population intensity... the link between this act and the population is not properly established. The reader finds its difficult to connect the two :

Felt that too becuase I added it last minutes, Shall I remove this point from the essay? Overall what do you think of the essay? on scale of 1-5

FatimaK:
. Therefore, to a certain extent I agree with the statement,.... this is your thesis statement and it is recommended to place your thesis as the final sentence in your introduction.
Like in any other general essay, it is good to open your introduction with a hook that grabs the reader's attention. Then discuss the background and finally express your opinion.

Noted, Thanks alot for your time and feedback.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Oct 24, 2013   #5
History can play a major role in defining any societysocietal characteristics

.... I feel you are trying to go out of topic. Your prompt does not deal with the history, but studying the major cities. If you feel like talking about the history, then you need to show some connection between history and the major cities. However, there are many modern major cities, for example - Dubai, Singapore etc. that do not have much to do with history.

Always keep a good alignment with your topic.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Oct 24, 2013   #6
Felt that too becuase I added it last minutes, Shall I remove this point from the essay? Overall what do you think of the essay? on scale of 1-5

:) Well.... I am not the best person to give you a score because I do not have any GRE experience. Perhaps this link may help you assessing your own score: ets.org/gre/revised_general/prepare/analytical_writing /issue/scoring_guide

I feel you are trying to go out of topic. Your prompt does not deal with the history, but studying the major cities. If you feel like talking about the history, then you need to show some connection between history and the major cities. However, there are many modern major cities, for example - Dubai, Singapore etc. that do not have much to do with history.
Always keep a good alignment with your topic.

I too feel this trend throughout your essay... You need to tackle the features such as traditions, customs, beliefs etc. because I too feel your topic intends those as the societal features.


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