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Essay about awesome Soccer - edit it today


John doan 2 / 2  
Mar 19, 2008   #1
Hi, I'm a new. I have just been studying for a year, so my writing English skill is bad. Please may you edit my essay today?

I'm gonna appreciate that!

SOCCER IS GREAT

At the age of ten, while almost neighbor children prefer to go outside or enjoy playing games, I didn't know what my hobby was, until one day when my brother took me to a very big stadium to see a match between two soccer teams. I had never seen such a huge number of people. Thousands were keeping their eyes on the match. They showed strong emotions through applause, crying, smiling, and screaming. This, along with stranger sounds from musical instruments, created a lively atmosphere. This very profound expression stayed with me through many of the following days. I had begun to realize my hobby. Soccer, which is a sport of kings, is what I like best.

I enjoy soccer because it is exciting. Almost all Vietnamese like watching soccer. They play soccer more than any other sport, so soccer is becoming very popular. My family always eagerly awaited and welcomed every sporting event like FIFA World Cup or the Euro Cup. I remember a match between Vietnam and Thailand. Thousands of Vietnamese watchers rushed out of the big stadium, where the match occurred; this made up an animated and funny scene. I especially could not forget the scene at the stadium when Vietnamese team scored a goal. The stadium was about to explode with noise and excitement.

To summarize, watching soccer is quite fun and attractive me.

Another reason I love soccer is that it is a sport activity which helps to improve my health. As a ten-year-old child, I desired to have strong legs, but it seemed to be difficult because my legs were very short and thin. From the time when I started to play soccer, my legs became much stronger and quicker. Not only does playing soccer strengthen my physical health but it also improves my spirit. I remember the day in sixth grade when I learned that my school was organizing a jogging contest. I was chosen to attend, and was surprised that I won first prize. I received a lot of praise from classmates, family and teachers. This is both a great source of motivation that fortifies me to study much better and a means of boosting my self-confidence in any activity of daily living.

While some people consider soccer as an entertaining sport activity, I realize soccer is a sport of art which makes up the emotions of friendship. In the sport of soccer, there is never discrimination on the basis of race, religion or colors of skin. All human beings may play ball together and become friends. Obviously, soccer players who are in France have skins and religions which are different, but they have united and played very well, twice winning the awards Europe 1998 and the World cup 2000.

Through soccer, players can connect with each other. For instance, when I was a student in high school, Chien and I were like two enemies, I hated him because he often bullied me. Surely, we would never have made close friends before our teacher ordered us to play as a couple of strikers on the school's soccer team. At first, we met many difficulties because I couldn't accept him as a teammate. However, this barrier gradually was removed when I scored goals when he passed the ball to me. In short, playing soccer is an easy way to make friends.

There are many different sports activities throughout the world; I just choose soccer as my most favorite hobby. Due to soccer I have a lot of close friends, and every time I play soccer I feel I get more energy to continue my life, like a battery that has just been recharged. In my opinion, if society still experiences racial discrimination, soccer's passion can bind them together. Soccer is great.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Mar 20, 2008   #2
Greetings!

I think your English is coming along great, considering the short time you've been studying it! I have made some corrections for you. Because there are quite a few, I won't take the time to highlight them, so you might want to just compare this version to your own, to see where changes were made:

To summarize, watching soccer is quite fun and attractive me. [I'd delete this sentence.]

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP John doan 2 / 2  
Mar 20, 2008   #3
Thank you very much, Sarah! for your help and kindness. I think this website is very useful.


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