Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, both education institutions and parents have responsibility to tackle several problems, especially the way of juvenile unhealthy life. All in all, although fathers, mothers and schools have the problem-solving for unhealthy life of children, but juvenile itself is the most important factor which affects to their life, especially unhealthy food consumption problems.
To begin, certain parents preparing some breakfast provision for their children in every morning, particularly the mother. She will cook several nutritious foods consist of vegetable, fruit and milk. Mothers will be careful to package their children's food to keep clean and she ensure that foods is healthy foods. For instance, when I was child, my mother always provided milk, bread and fruit for me before I went to the school. Her purpose was to prevent me from bought unhealthy food such junk food which can cause stomachache. That's why several parents have a tendency to protect their children by giving breakfast provision by their cooking.
In the other hand, schools also have the important role to tackle that problem. Education institutions should be selective to choose food sellers in their place and the sellers have to ensure that they will provide and sell healthy foods such as main course and desserts. Not only about the ingredients of food, but also schools should be manage the place which should be clean and hygiene. For illustrate, schools provide a clean and hygiene eatery to sell their products.
Even though, both of schools and parents do several actions to tackle the problems, the juvenile itself is the predominant factor to solve their unhealthy lifestyle. The children should be aware about what they are consuming and the consequence of their decision. For example, a child can buy junk food although their parents and schools not provide and prohibit them.
Taking everything into consideration, even though the education institutions and the parents are take an action to tackle that problem, juvenile itself is the predominant factor to choose their own decision.
Dioba,
Here's my insight towards your writing. I hope you can follow through.
- To begin with , certain parents preparingprepare some breakfast (...), particularly theirthe mother.
- She willcooks several nutritious foods that consist of vegetable,...
- Motherswill be careful to packagepack/wrap their children's food carefully to keep it clean and she ensure that foods isensure its quality as healthy foods.
- For instance, when I was a child, my mother always...
- Her purpose was to prevent me from boughtbuying/purchasing unhealthy food such junk food(junk = unhealthy = redundant) which can...
- That'sThat is why several parents (...) children by givingpreparing/cooking breakfast. provision by their cooking .
- InOn the other hand, ...
- ...such as main course and desserts.(when it comes to examples, why don't you just come up with the real one? main course and desserts are still the general type of food/cuisine)
- ..., but also schools should be manage the place which shouldto make it become clean and hygiene.
- ForTo illustrate, schools provide a clean and hygiene eaterycanteen to sell their productsfoods .
As you can see, there are lots of grammatical flaws in your essay that needs to be fixed. I hope you can consider them as valuable feedback and possibly gain some improvements in the future practices. :)
