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Ielts task 2 essay about bad situations and how people react towards those situations.

dieuanhk 1 / 1  
Mar 11, 2020   #1
Hello everyone! This is the first time I've used Essayforum. Could you guys help me to improve my writing skills? I really appreciate

Dealing with difficult situations

Topic: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.
My essay:

People has to go to vissicistudes in life. There is a huge number of people tend to suffer from adversities such as job disatisfaction or lack of money. However, there are many people believe that putting effort in changing those situations is the best choice.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why some people choose to endure difficult situations without making an attempt to make them better. Firstly, they may lack of confidence to face with failure and adversities. In addition, they might be sacred of being judged by other people. Their reservations halt them from achieving what they want. Besides, they can enjoy their lives without making strenuous efforts. Therefore, these people' lives might be less stressful and competitive.

On the other hand, there are many people who can not retain their ambitions to make their lives better. It is quite understandable that they have to improve bad situations. Firstly, they may need more money to sustain their needs. For example, if a person is out of work, he/she has find another job with higher salaries to raise his/her children. Secondly, they want to broaden their comfort zone and embrace adversities. There are many people, especially youngsters, want to pursue their dreams and fulfill their potenial. Furthermore, these people may have a more qualified life than the others. However, because of being more competitive, it is easy for them to have stress.

In my opinion, I concur with those who argue keep trying to ameliorate present situations. People should break their limits to understand more about their strengths and weaknesses.

All in all, instead of accepting harsh conditions, people should work harder for a better life.

Thank you so much!
Phuongbo 4 / 9  
Mar 11, 2020   #2
I think that in both paragraph 2 and 3, you are not explain your ideas clearly. The sentences lack of association and are too short to get high scores.
OP dieuanhk 1 / 1  
Mar 13, 2020   #3
thank you so much for your comment!

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