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Baku-- a short paragraph about the hometown


Azeri 10 / 137  
Aug 8, 2010   #1
Although it seems to me incomplete and has no clear structure, I decided not to amend it. What are your suggestions?

Baku, I love you! I love you as you are -- your splendid summer evenings and sultry afternoons; clean, comfortable highways and littered, bumped back roads; developed city centre and neglected unsettled suburbs; shady parkways with centenary chinars providing shelter to small, cozy cafes and clouds of grayish dust from constructions over the congested capital. I love gentle breaths of Gilavar carrying peace of mind and soul on its wings, and furious gusts of Khazri, overturning and taking away everything on its way. I can watch endlessly dark troubled waters of Khazar striking furiously against deserted rocky shores and listen heedfully to inviting morning azan from the nearest mosque. I enjoy rambling in the Old City admiring orient towers and medieval dwellings and pondering by purling waters of fanciful fountains. But most of all I love your smiling, joyful people, at times rough, but kind and sympathetic inside, rushing in noisy flock along the tangle of streets. This is how I know you, Baku; this is why I love you!

Zubaida 18 / 35  
Aug 8, 2010   #2
what do you mean, Azeri, in this sentence:
shady parkways with centenary chinars
I could not find chinar in the dictionary, you may mean chairs.
patricia5827 4 / 12  
Aug 8, 2010   #3
Very good imagery - i like the use of alliteration :)

But most of all I love your smiling, joyful people, at times rough, but kind and sympathetic inside, rushing in noisy flock along the tangle of streets. <-- this sentence is pretty long and drags on, i would suggest cutting it into 2 sentences such as :

But most of all i love your smiling, joyful people. Although sometimes rough, they are kind and sympathetic inside while they rush in noisy flocks along the tangle of streets.

just a suggestion tho :)
AnnaMalinovska 1 / 2  
Aug 9, 2010   #4
I like how your essay is very coherent, the last sentence is powerful because it's parallel to the first sentence. The use of so many details actually helps create a picture in the mind of a reader.
OP Azeri 10 / 137  
Aug 9, 2010   #5
Oh, sorry for that. I forgot to give explanations for some word written in the Azerbaijan language.

Gilavar is the south winter.
Khazri is the north winter.
Chinar is the plane tree.

Thank you all for the feedbacks! :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Aug 10, 2010   #6
Cool!
Nice use of "bumped back"

You should probably take the s off the end of construction.

...rushing in a noisy flock along the tangle of streets.--- again, it's okay the way you had it, but I would add the article "a"

Should orient be oriental?
OP Azeri 10 / 137  
Aug 10, 2010   #7
I meant north and south wind :)

Should orient be oriental?

I was sure that it was correct but after you asked this question I began to doubt:)
I checked in my dictinary, which states that Orient is archaic, poetic way of using Oriental, and that they are equal in meaning.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Aug 11, 2010   #8
Awesome... I was not sure.

But actually, I still am thinking that orient is a verb or noun, whereas oriental is an adjective... so... if you need an adjective in this sentence, it might be best to use oriental.

But I'm not sure! It is a word with multiple meanings... :-) I am thinking of it as one word with different forms: orient, oriental.... oriental is the adjective form.
OP Azeri 10 / 137  
Aug 12, 2010   #9
if you need an adjective in this sentence, it might be best to use oriental.

Ok, I will change to Oriental - it sounds better in the sentence.

It is a word with multiple meanings...

Exactly. I usually use Lingvo dictionary, and it provides another meaning of this word, which is "rising, ascending"


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