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Ielts: Should we ban private education? NO!


jflo 4 / 12 2  
Aug 26, 2013   #1
Hey guys, what do you think about this essay? How would you guys score my work?

Task description. Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be done only by the government and that private education should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

The unfortunate reality that the state has not prioritized education is one reason why private education should be retained. Therefore, on my part, i would have to oppose with the restriction of private education for several reasons.

For one, although the government provides an annual budget for education, allocation is lesser in comparison with other sectors of the state. There is insuffient funds that cannot satisfy the needs of the current number of school children. If all students opted to avail public education, funding should be increased. In the Philippines, the lack of classrooms, books and school paraphernalias in state-owned institutions are just few of the pressing and usual problems encountered every academic year. This is usally rooted to the lack of money given my government institutions.

Another relevant argument is the shortage of manpower to service the vast number of pupils. There is an imbalanced ratio of teachers and students; thus, teaching is ineffective. In some schools, classes are divided to morning, afternoon and sometimes evening sessins in order to accommodate all students. The faculty is unable to perform their duties efficiently due to the stress and exhaustion of holding classes the whold day. Moreover, schools cannot employ additional teachers because of the limited slots for government positions even if there is an apparent need to address this scarcity.

It is also important to note that there is also a deficiency of school buildings and school materials. The quality of learning is jeopardized when students are taught in unfavorable situations. It is typical to see teachers holding their classes under a tree while two students are observed to be sitting together in a single chair. To make matters worse, they would be sharing a single book or none at all when ideally, pupils should have their own books to use.

In conclusion, I reaffirm my position that the government should not ban private education unless adequate funds to resolve the problems in infrastructure, workforce and educational materials are addressed. I believe that pupils have the right to receive education the right way.

/// sorry, i forgot to place this under writing feedback.

studentadvisor - / 3  
Aug 31, 2013   #2
This is usally rooted to the lack of money given my government institutions.
usually, by would be correct spellings.

Sometimes evening sessins in

sessions would be correct spellings.

The essay is apparently written by an expert and very good user. The position is stated straightforward and the topic sentences are exquisitely crafted which are then followed by supporting sentences and developing sentences as the essay writing bibles would approve of.

This essay would receive my opinion of ' great'
alice0209 12 / 18 12  
Aug 31, 2013   #3
I think you didn't answer the question successfully.
The topic is asking you whether you agree that private education should be banned, but you keep mentioning about the drawbacks of normal schools. Points about private education are barely stated. If you want to claim that private education is better than education systems hold by the government, you can't just talk about the setbacks of normal education without comparing it to the private education.

Hope this help:))
margaretsales - / 2 1  
Sep 23, 2013   #4
All students are not getting opportunities to learn in a normal school.This may be due to several reasons.Sometimes it is due to some disabilities or may be due to the time or money factor or due to the family issues.After high school my brother in law went for a distance education course from freedom business school .My husband is a business man and he went to a private school.So there is no point in banning private education.


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