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Banning of Smoking in Public Places; 'smoke free environment'

VashAng 1 / -  
Oct 14, 2013   #1
I write this essay based on others essay in this forum.(kinds of copying,paraphrasing, include my own idea)

Building a Smoke-Free Environment

Question: Banning of Smoking in Public Places is Necessary.

*My grammar and language is really hopeless. I wish to improve my english for a better grade and communication in future.So, can anyone pls me check my essay and share with me ideas to improve this essay.Paraphrasing~

Smoking is one of the major problems in today's world.This issue is getting more and more serious as we can see in public places where women and children started to smoke cigarette.As a witness of its damage on people, I am totally agree with the statement that banning of smoking in public places is necessary. Smoking affects people's health, society and environment.

Firstly,smoking affects people's health.In fact, I have not observed any benefits of smoking to human health up to now. In contrast, it harms people's health by preventing lung's function. It also causes peoples to have breathing difficulty and numerous diseases such as cancer, arthritis and so forth. Recent studies show that smoking also shortens life expectancy. Therefore, banning smoking in public places can reduce at least some of these problems and would enable people to live in a healthier way.

Smoking also affects the society.The reason is because when people smoke in public places, the public especially adolescences will see them and think that "Why we should not try it" since the people is smoking publicly as it does not have any problem. The adolescences will try to smoke as their curiosity get the better of them. They will tell themselves "It will be okay to try just one cigarette". Unfortunely, cigarette has nicotine that causes one's to feel relax and addicted. This will indirectly make them hooked to the smoking habit and bring up that habit until adulthood. So, the cycle of smoking influence will keeps repeating unless the smoking activity is restricted to a certain extent where smoking is banned in public places.

In addition, smoking also causes negative impact on the environment. Smoking will causes the air to be polluted and this will irrates the public. We must remember that people have the right to inhale fresh and clean air. However, there are some selfish and irresponsible smokers who like smoke everywhere regardless places. This is very unfair to impose on non-smokers because they have to inhale the cigarette and become passive smokers. For example, in work place where we have to spend time regularly with our colleague who like to smoke publicly,no doubt that this will affects our health.Then, do you think this is fair to us? Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places so the public can enjoy a smoke free environment .

In the nutshell, smoking really causes negative effect on one's health, sociey and environment. I think that smoking activity should be banned in public places so that a new page for health and development of the whole population would be open up.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Oct 15, 2013   #2
What is the purpose of your writing? I mean, are you preparing for IELTS , TOEFL etc.?
It's always good to mention the purpose in the title because it helps others to provide you with more task related comments.

Smoking is one of the major problems in today's world.

... good hook :)
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Oct 15, 2013   #3
Smoking also affects the society

.... good or bad?
Smoking affects society in a negative way.

people is smoking publicly

...."people" is a plural word...so;
people are smoking

this will irrates the public

will irritate

However, there are some selfish and irresponsible smokers who like smoke everywhere regardless places.

However there are some selfish and irresponsible smokers who are not concerned about the place where they smoke.
tishca2013 3 / 4  
Oct 15, 2013   #4
Though I am a learner even, wanna suggest you , please make maximum use of this forum .It is very very helpful.
tishca2013 3 / 4  
Oct 15, 2013   #5
Please correct me and guide me if feel need of modification.
"Smoking is injurious to health" is the line that draws my attention, while watching a movie and it forced me to think why ? and I started to search for it and its unbelievable and really heart wrenching that very vast number of people are getting died yearly due to this smoking and top of it our India is among those top ten countries where this number is high.I am also in big favor for this banning as smoking is not only injurious to health of active smoker but to passive smoker even. Passive smoker can also get infected by lung cancer , bronchitis and asthma kind of life threatening illness.It is sheer wastage of your money even.As addicted person can smoke large no of cigarettes daily and spend lot of money on it.

Smoking is harmful to the environment even.Due to smoking large amount of poisonous smoke can get released into this environment .This ultimately lead to increase amount of carbon monoxide in our surrounding .It helps to pollute the air and results in air pollution.

In order to avoid all these bad consequences and to save our life as well as our planet ,avoidance of smoking is the only way as prevention is better than cure!
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Oct 15, 2013   #6
Please correct me and guide me if feel need of modification.

Hi tishca2013 - You cannot expect others to provide feedbacks on your writing when you post your essays in others' threads. You need to open a fresh thread for your essays. Use the "New Thread " feature on top of this screen in the right hand side. Provide a meaningful topic (with the purpose - e.g. TOEFL, IELTS, GRE etc.) in the Subject field. Select "Writing Feedback" for your forum and open your fresh thread, :)

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