Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Task 1: The bar chart compares the number of film rentals and sales


Adhisti 20 / 19 2  
May 23, 2015   #1
The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.
The bar chart compares the number of film rentals and sales in different sorts annually from a selected store during 2002 to 2011. Overall, after the annual number of DVD sales reached a peak, it decreased gradually. It can also be seen that while rentals and VHS sales fell considerably, Blu-ray sales appeared and experienced a slight growth.

To begin with, DVD sale was the lowest format of film. It stood at solely 500,000 copies. However, rentals and VHS sales showed the highest rate in 2002. In the next year, while both rentals and VHS sales dropped steadily, the annual number of DVD rose significantly instead. Then, after peaking at roughly 215,000 copies in 2007, the figure of DVD sales fell by 35,000 in 2011.

In terms of rentals and VHS sales, both witnessed a dramatic decrease. At the beginning, the annual rate of rentals was 185,000 copies this became 55,000 copies over the following nine years. This also happened for VHS sales in which its number declined from 85,000 (2002) to 10,000 (2005) and this format lost in 2006. But, in 2007, Blu-ray sales existed and it grew gradually to around 15,000 copies during a four-year period.




Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 24, 2015   #2
It stood at solely 500,000 copies in 2002 .

Then, after peaking at roughly 215,000 copies in 2007, the figure of DVD sales fell by 35,000 in 2011.
Here's my recommendation to vary your sentence:
Then, after peaking at roughly 215,000 copies in 2007, the figure of DVD sales fell by 35,000 in the next four years. .

In terms of rentals and VHS sales, both witnessed a dramatic decrease over the timeframe .

Your second paragraph is less focused compared with the third one. Perhaps you can review your focus idea for both paragraph to create a more balanced essay.

Good luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / Task 1: The bar chart compares the number of film rentals and sales