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WRITING TASK 1 - BAR CHART ABOUT DIVORCE RATES IN FINLAND AND SWEDEN FROM 2011 TO 2015


Huy Vo 1 / -  
Nov 18, 2021   #1

numbers of divorces in Finland and Sweden



The bar chart illustrates the percentages of divorced people in Finland and Sweden between 2011 and 2015.
Overall, Finland witnessed an upward trend in the divorce rates, while Sweden saw a downward trend throughout the period. Both two countries had some fluctuations. While the rate in Finland was initially less than that of Sweden, it outraced at the end of the period.

Finland's divorce rate was nearly 40% in the year of 2011, then reached a low-point at around one-third of the divorced cases all over the world, as opposed to nearly 50% of that of Sweden in the same year. However, it can be seen that Finland witnessed a gradual increase in the rate, reaching about 37% in 2013, then rose to the more than 40% in 2014. It remained steadily until the next year in 2015.

On the other hand, the percentage of divorced parents in Sweden accounted for around 45% in 2011, outnumbered the figure of Finland by nearly 8%. It reached the peak at nearly 50% in 2012, before dropping at about 45% in the year of 2014. At the end of the period, Sweden witnessed a considerable decrease at approximately 38% in 2015.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,000 3875  
Nov 19, 2021   #2
Both two

Beware of using redundancies such as these in your essays. You will get a lower LR score because of it. A redundancy is when 2 words with the same meaning are used in a sentence. Both, already indicates a pair or 2. Two, is the numerical reference to "both". Perhaps review synonym usage lists to avoid a repeat of this error in the future.

outraced

The correct term to use is "outpaced". When measurements outpace one another, the verb outpaced refers to the action of having surpassed or exceeded, as in speed, development, or performance. Outracing refers to racing or running faster than another. The writer is showing a degree of unfamiliarity with English word usage. He often uses the wrong term in reference to actions within the image.
irvan 2 / 3  
Nov 21, 2021   #3
The bar chart

hi Huy Vo, lemme help you to repharase introduction

... in Finland and Sweden, a period of 5 years, between 2011 and 2015. Units are measured in percentage.

Overall,it can be clearly seen that the figure for Finland witnessed ..., while that for Sweden saw ... the given period. Both two ... fluctuations.


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