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Task1 The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population in urban areas


Osama0435 5 / 9 4  
Jun 10, 2020   #1

Changes in percentages of population



The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts compare the ratio of the population in the urban region around the world in the years 1950, 2007 and 2050.

Overall, all trends of the population in cities from different continents experienced gradual declining growth throughout the period.

In 1950 the percentages of Africa, Asia, and Latin America/Caribbean are only 15%, 17%, and 42% separately. Latin America/Caribbean showed the highest upward trend among others, which increased by 34% between 1950 and 2007. However, the ratios of Africa and Asia are predicted that there would be the same growth of 25% in both continents exceeding Latin America/Caribbean, which will be only 13% in 2050.

Europe's percentage was the lowest compared to North America and Oceania in 1950. Nonetheless, it outpaced Oceania (71%) and reached 72% dramatically in 2007. It is also projected that this lead will keep remaining to the end of the period. Meanwhile, North America illustrated the highest percentage 64% and 79% among others in 1950 and 2007 respectively. It is even anticipated that it will hit the highest point in the world in 2050.

Hello Mr. Holt I wrote my Task 1 again with another topic. This time I did not write more than 190 words as you mentioned in the comment last time. Hope this time I could know what brand I might be able to score in Task 1. Besides, please let me know which part of my essay is my weakness. Then I could keep improving my writing skills. Thank you very much.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,753 3795  
Jun 10, 2020   #2
Since you want to know what kind of score you might get, I'll give you an individual scoring breakdown. That way you can see where your strong points and weak points are. You should be able to better focus your writing lessons based on these approximate scores for each scoring section.

TA: 4 - You did not cover all of the required information in the overview paragraph. That is what is scored in this section. You need to make sure that you represent not only the topic and image type. You should also represent the measurement type and offer a listing of the urban areas measured.

C&C: 6 - You arranged the data presentation in an easy to follow manner. However, your sentence idea connections within the paragraph are a bit problematic. you need to improve your referencing presentation in the paragraphs.

LR: 5 - Your vocabulary is simple enough to get your message across. You should work on increasing the complexity of your English vocabulary. Try to read the business section of the newspapers so that you can get a better feel for the words used in data reporting and how to properly format these sentence presentations in relation to word usage. Avoid redundancies such as "keep remaining". These words mean the same thing which is "to stay unchanged".

GRA: 6 - Even as you make sentence structure errors and your word usage is at times faulty, it does not create a problem for the reader. You can still be understood clearly, even if the sentence is only read once. However, that does not mean that you should ignore your problems in this section. You should still work on improving your sentence structure skills to help increase your overall score. By reading the business section as I suggested, you should be able to improve your GRA score in relation to the Task 1 requirements.

There are several problems existing in this writing. I have not referred to those parts because the scoring I gave already covers majority of those errors. You will be able to improve and correct those errors as long as you apply the training I am suggesting above.
huyhoang02 2 / 3 1  
Jun 10, 2020   #3
In my opinion, you can also use proportion instead of ratios. In addition, the topic say " the bar chart below gives...",therefore you can write your intro" the bar chart shows/compares....
TQB 3 / 9  
Jun 14, 2020   #4
Hi,

I just want to give some more contribution for the overview only, aka. "Overall, all trends of the population in cities from different continents experienced gradual declining growth throughout the period". First, the sentence is neither clear nor correct in terms of the data presented in the graph. This definitely leads to lower than 5 for TA. Second, a part of this period is in a future projection but you referred the whole in past tense. For me, you should divide the sentence into two parts, one for the past and one for the future. This makes more sense regarding grammar. Finally, your word choice was inappropriate as you used "declining growth". They convey totally opposite meanings.

Best,
Tutela


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