Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 4

The bar chart illustrates the number of people who decide on university subjects chosen in 2005

1 day ago   #1
Please help me to check this , thank you

Bar chart about university subjects chosen

This bar chart illutrates the people who decide on university subjects chosen in 2005. There are clear differences between male and female students

It is evident that female chose languages and arts than male. In addition, humanities has the same learners

Regarding social sciences, the number of female students have chose this subject, over 25 thounsands, which has higher than male students, about 15 thounsands. Morever, a lot of female students with languages chosen from the high number of nearly 20 thounsands while this subject is significantly lower in male, only under 5 thounsands

When it comes to arts, not as many students chose this subject, only under 5 thounsands in male and nearly 10 thounsands in female

Hope all of you reply this soon
Thank you very much

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,287 2851  
1 day ago   #2
There is a word requirement for the Task 1 essay that i believe you are not familiar with at this point. The word minimum is 150 with a suggested maximum of 190 words. You achieve that word count by making sure that you write a 3 paragraph essay that is composed of 3-5 sentences each. In this case, your summary overview is insufficient as it does not properly enumerate the short form of the information provided. That should include:

- The image type (bar chart)
- Measurement information (list of university subjects, male / female count by the thousands)
- Year the measurement was taken
- The trending statement

All of these sentences will help you achieve a proper summary of information. In your presentation, you separated the trending sentence and forgot to place a period at the end. You consistently forget to use the period throughout your presentation which will lower your GRA score tremendously. Your last sentence is not even a comparison of the information, it is just hanging there, an incomplete sentence that does not have any follow through information.

You will do well to review the sample task 1 essays at this forum to help guide you through the development process of a task 1 essay. Learn from the errors of others so that you will be able to better write your Task 1 essay. Always remember though, you need to write more than 150 words to achieve a better scoring consideration overall.
LadyOfClockwork 26 / 84 20  
23 hrs ago   #3
Hi, I don't think you used the word "thousand" correctly. You could say "thousands of" or "over 25 thousand", but "over 25 thousands" is incorrect. I'm not a native speaker, so my opinion isn't quite authoritative. However, I strongly suggest that you check it out yourself. The usage of "thousand" is very important in IELTS task 1.
Carrious 2 / 3  
19 hrs ago   #4
It seems like your words are less than the requirement(150 words). by the way, I think that you ought to use "The given/provided bar chart..." instead of using "This bar chart". Avoid using the phare "a lot of" because it is a really low-level phrase.

Home / Writing Feedback / The bar chart illustrates the number of people who decide on university subjects chosen in 2005