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IELTS1: Bar Chart: international students graduating from universities in various Canadian provinces

pthtnh 1 / -  
Aug 2, 2022   #1

International graduates from Canadian unviersities (2001-2006)

The graph below shows the percentage change in the number of international students graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph demonstrates the percentage change in the number of overseas students graduating from different universities in eight Canadian provinces.

Overall, most provinces, except Alberta, experienced an upward trend throughout the period. While New Brunswick remained at the highest percentage until the end of the period, there were many changes among the provinces having lower rates in the ranking.

Specifically, in 2001, all provinces had a low percentage of international graduates. New Brunswick's proportion was by far the highest one at that moment with almost 7%. Ontario, on the contrary, was left behind by other provinces as its proportion was around 3%, which was half as much as New Brunswick and slightly smaller than New Founderland and Labrador, whose percentage of global alumni was 3.5%.

Nevertheless, in 2006, nearly all parts of Canada witnessed a dramatic increase in the percentage of foreign students graduating from Canadian universities. New Brunswick still had the highest proportion of international graduates with 12%, but it was New British Columbia that made the biggest progress when reaching 10 percent of overseas graduates, thus outracing Nova Scotia in 2006. On the other hand, Alberta encountered a one percent decrease in its proportion compared to that in 2001.

**Please help me check this essay. Your feedbacks mean a lot to me. Thank you in advance.

  • International graduates, Canadian universities, 2001–2006
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,033 4249  
Aug 3, 2022   #2
The summary overview fails to properly recognize the type of graph provided because it used a cut and paste identifier from the original summary. There needs to be a change in the image title when it is restated. In this case, the addition of the word "bar" to indicate the type of measurement used in the graph would have made a huge difference in the scoring for that section. As for the trending paragraph. A rundown of all 9 countries would have been needed since that is part of the overview of the given image. A more appropriate trending statement, that could reflect the provinces in the list would have added to the scoring potential of the paragraphs.

While the word count is a little over the maximum word count, it is not so much over the count that it would affect the 20 minute writing allowance. However, having read the report, I feel that the writer could have done a little more editing to shorten the presentation. It could have been completed in 180 words instead. Since the essay is scored on its concise presentation through the C+C consideration, the writer should have strived to accomplish the shorter but clearer presentation format. Good job reporting though.

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