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Writing Task 1 Bar chart about 9 kinds of sports in 2002 in New Zealand


tdl 1 / 3  
Aug 1, 2021   #1

The provided chart illustrates the rate of male and female who played 9 kinds of sports in New Zealand in 2002.


Overall, netball was the most popular sport with women while that of men was soccer. Besides, the number of men who joined in sports activities was much more than women.

Starting with girls, it is obvious that they did not participate much in cricket with only 2 percent of people. Similarly with men, netball followed that trend with the same proportion. Next, athletics ,material arts and soccer were not embarked by lots of women with regard to approximately 5% each. A similar pattern was evident in basketball and tennis with around 6% and 9% respectively in both genders.

In contrast, the highest percentages of men were in soccer with estimately a quarter of all. That was followed by other sports and swimming with the rate in the period from 13 to 25% while that of girls was similar with the higher rate in water sport. In addition, cricket was threefold with athletics at about 12%.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Aug 2, 2021   #2
The summary overview would be better presented if the writer included a run-down of the 9 sports, measurement type, and only one trend in the presentation. The trend is created by a single reference unless a trending paragraph of 3 sentences can be presented. The summary is acceptable, but will not bring in a high preliminary see because it is too short in terms of presentation.

The actual reporting paragraphs are too confusing to follow because the writer is combining various information for both genders in a single paragraph. This tends to be stressful to the reader. The way the graph is laid out, it is important that the reports be laid out by gender in the paragraphs. That makes it easier to follow the report highlights on the part of the reader.
OP tdl 1 / 3  
Aug 2, 2021   #3
@Holt
thanks for your advice. I will try my best next time !!!


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