Hi everybody, please give me a feedback and possible correction
Question: The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.
The bar chart gives information about the percentage of boys and girls who succeed from their high school competency exam with 7 different subjects between 2010 and 2011. It is noticeable that, both of sexes have been more succeed in 4 subjects such as computer science, mathematics, foreign languages, geography, than 3 others.
As closer looked at the bar chart, computer science is the subject which is the highest number of passing exam for boys at 56%, while girls have a lower percentage number than boys at only one fifth of male. Over more than two fifths, mathematic and foreign languages can be passed to both of boys and girls. In contrast, refers to the chart, both of genders have low proportion number of passing in history, although the lowest percentage can be seen in chemistry at 14,1 % for boys and the second one in geography at 20,1% for girls. Interestingly, girls more success than boys in six subjects such as physics, chemistry, mathematics, history, foreign languages, computer science, whereas boys more success only in geography.
... the percentage of boys and girls who succeed success from their high school competency ...
It is noticeable that, both of sexes have been is more succeed is in 4 subjects such as computer ...
In introduction usually use present perfect.
computer science is the subject which is the highest number of passing exam for boys at 56% ??
My suggestion : Boys attained 56 % in computer science which is the highest percentage they got.
