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The bar chart provides information how families in a country spent weekly income in both 1968 & 2018

ancle21 1 / -  
Sep 26, 2022   #1

weekly expenses of families in 1968 and 2018

The bar graph reveals data about the weekly expenses of families in one nation in the years 1968 and 2018. It is clear that food was the most indispensable demand in 1968, but leisure activities dominated the weekly income of families in 2018.

The year 1968, people tended to spend most their weekly budget on food, which accounted for roughly 35%. This figure was over three times as much as those for the second highest expenditures, housing, clothing and footwear. The expenses of housing and clothing were both 10%. Household goods, personal goods, transport and leisure fees were around 8% to 9 %. The least expense was fuel and power at 6%.

People of 2018 were more likely to allocate their weekly income to leisure interests, which accounted for approximately 24 %. Next, families paid for housing and food were about 19% and 17%, respectively. Transport of 2018 were more considerable than in 1968 at 14%. Household goods was 8%. The least allocations were fuel (4%), personal goods (4%) and clothing (5%).
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691  
Sep 27, 2022   #2

Incorrect use of a conjunction. This can only be used when the topics being discussed are connected in some way (either action or topic). Since these are 2 different subjects, a separate sentence presentation should have been used with a transitional phrase or word instead. Good work on the presentation though. The trend and summary were in the same paragraph showing a non-memorized writing approach. The problem though, is that it is still short by one sentence to meet the minimum requirement. This happened because of the incorrect conjunction usage. Next time, aim for 3 sentences minimum per paragraph. That can easily be achieved by using individual sentence references.

highest expenditures,

Incorrect punctuation use. This should have been marked with a colon to indicate the division of a sentence. Since an enumeration list followed rather than a connected discussion, a comma should not have been used.

The grammar used is not perfect, but not confusing either. So the C+C score will have minimal deductions. However, the writer shows a problem with proper sentence structure, word usage, and punctuation mark applications. Therefore more marked deductions to the GRA score will be applied to this task.

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