IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - BAR CHART: Shares of expenditures for selected categories

bar chart report (four countries expenditures)

The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of five major categories of expenditures shared in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan during the 2009s.

From an overall perspective, it is clear that housing was the most common expenditure shared by the people in the three countries, except for the other country, Japan. Health care and clothing were the two lowest categories of sharing spending in all four countries.

In terms of housing sharing expenditure, while the figures for United States and United Kingdom people were almost the same, at 26% and 24% respectively, the percentage of people spending reached 22% in Japan.Canada had the lowest housing share at 21%.

Notwithstanding, one in every five people in Canada shared the spending in transportation, followed by 17% of Americans and 15% of people in the UK. Reaching the lowest point of about one out of ten in the sharing of transportation in Japan.

However, Japan had the largest food share of all four countries at 23%. The United Kingdom had the second-highest share at 20%, the proportion of people who shared food expenditures in Canada was slightly higher than in the US, the same level as the UK was in transportation, at 15% and 14% respectively.

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A task 1 essay containing one image should be completed in only 3 paragraphs, with less than 200 words. Time your writing and editing practices within the 20 minute test as these are inclusive during the actual test. Failure to do so could lead to a lower than expected score.

Enhance the vocabulary usage in the presentation to at leasta consistent high school level of writing. "Excluding" should have received a better score than "except" in this case as it shows a bit more advanced vocabulary and sentence development skill.

For a better overall score, it is imperative that the writer provide 3-5 sentences per paragraph. By individuallying the sentence content, he will create a tbetter balance of simple and complex sentences for scoring. Using only 2 sentences does not accomplish that task and leads to less scoring increases.

This essay is quite ok. I don't know how to figure out your error in this essay but at least I can learn from yours so as I can improve my writing skill

It is a great essay anyway you should make the numbers count properly. I found it contains more than 200 words. Your overview paragraph (2nd) could be reduced by only including 1 sentence, because 2 are a little risky. I do agree that the details should contain in 2 paragraphs by comparing 2 different variables. Considering the 4th paragraph I think we should avoid kind of comparing like "one in every five people" because it doesnt really explain in the chart. However the using of 21%, 17%, and 21% should not be attached in, we dont really know the exact number from the diagram do we? It's more appropriate to use more than 25% or 15% or using number the diagram mentioned.