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The bar chart shows the amount of sales in silver goods in 000's of units for two companies nextyear


Gulnar604 2 / 2 1  
Jul 30, 2014   #1
The bar chart delineates the amount of sales of silver goods for Meteor Products Ltd and Mark Jones Ltd for the following year, and the pie chart presents an overview of the predicted market share at the end of the coming year.

The most striking feature is there will be an overall upward trend in the proportion of sales for both companies over the span of 12 months. Thus, purchases of silver goods for Meteor Products Ltd is anticipated to start the year at around 100 000 of units climbing steadily approximately to 200 000 and before increasing considerably to 500 000 remaining there until November and hitting a peak in December at around 600 000 of units.

Mark Jones Ltd, however, is predicted to start the year with approximately 450 000 of sales before falling to 200 000 of units. Those of Mark Jones Ltd is anticipated to rise gradually to 400 000 until August and rocket to 900 000 until December.

Regarding the pie chart, while Mark Jones Ltd is forecast to have 30 % of total projected market share outnumbering Meteor Product Ltd by 30 % to 20 %, 50 % of estimated market share is set to be shared by other countries.

Hiruni 3 / 14 3  
Jul 30, 2014   #2
Nice writing, I like the way you have linked the sentences together. but next time don't forget to attach the prompt. :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jul 30, 2014   #3
Where is the picture? Readers will share thoughtful feedback if you include the picture of the graph. Also, you should write IELTS task 1, including the full prompt.

Always write an overview presenting the overall trends after introduction

purchases of silver goods for Meteor Products Ltd is anticipated to start the year at around 100 000 of units climbing steadily approximately to 200 000 and before increasing considerably to 500 000 remaining there until November and hitting a peak in December at around 600 000 of units.

This is too bulky. Break it into two sentences
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 26, 2014   #4
Where is the picture? Readers will share thoughtful feedback if you include the picture of the graph. Also, you should write IELTS task 1, including the full prompt.

Yes, you need to upload the image. Use the "Attach file(s)" feature in the Message Block to upload your image :)
The bar chart delineatespresents the amount of sales of silver goods for Meteor Products Ltd and Mark Jones Ltd for the following year(you need to specify the period here), andwhile the pie chart presents an overview of the predicted market share at the end of the coming year. ?????

Include an Overview in between the Introduction and the Detail Body paras. The Overview should explain the major trends very briefly. It should not contain details that you talk about in the Detail body paras.


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