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[task 1] The bar chart shows different methods of waste disposal in four cities


LadyOfClockwork 30 / 102  
Oct 8, 2017   #1
The bar chart shows different methods of waste disposal in four cities: Toronto, Madrid, Kuala Lumpur and Amman.
Summarize the information by describing the main features of the chart and making comparisons where appropriate.


waste management in the world



The bar chart illustrates the differences in waste management between four cities - Toronto, Madrid, Kuala Lumpur and Amman. The methods they use consist of landfill, incineration, recycling and composting. In this essay I will outline the destinations of waste in the cities listed and draw comparisons where appropriate.

Overall, composting is the least used disposal technique, with just a small fraction of waste converted to compost in each city. Recycling is carried out on a modest scale in Madrid and Kuala Lumpur, though it is less common in the other cities. The primary disposal processes are landfill and incineration, which cope with around 70% of waste combined in each city.

In Amman, approximately only three percent of waste ends up as compost. While the composting rate is slightly higher in anywhere else, it fluctuates within the bracket between five to ten percent. By way of comparison, Madrid recycles marginally above 20% of waste, roughly the same percentage as Kuala Lumpur but more than ten percent higher than Toronto or Amman does.

The use of landfill and incineration varies with the city. In Toronto and Amman each, landfills absorb up to around 75% and 50% of waste products, while about 10% and 40% of those are fed to incinerators. In Madrid and Kuala Lumpur, however, the situation is reversed. Respectively, 40% and around 55% of waste materials are reduced to ash, whereas approximately only 30% and 15% of those are buried on land.

I would more appreciate it if you score my essay.
I tried to develop my own writing style this time. Hope it works.




Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,856 4178  
Oct 8, 2017   #2
Gang, I hope you are sitting down while you are reading this because I have some good news for you. Based upon the development of this essay and the minimal grammatical errors that you presented in the sentence structures, I firmly believe that you are on your way to scoring you first 8 in a practice test. Scratch that, I believe that this essay does deserve an 8 in the overall score. I was pleased to read this paper that actually isn't trying to sound like anything but you. What I mean is, when you are not trying to follow a template for a presentation, you sound more natural and you actually end up writing in a better manner than before. It is complex enough to gain a high score in the GRA section and also, is coherent and cohesive enough to get the 8 bracket score in both scoring sections. I need not mention the TA and LR sections anymore because it is quite obvious that you did extremely well in those sections as well. I just want you practice the sentence structures at this point. You need to gain a certain smoothness in the presentation so that you can come across as a native speaker. Let me show you some samples of polished versions of your sentences:

... waste ends up as compost

- ends up in the compost

By way of comparison,

- In comparison...

A comma was needed here:
roughly the same percentage as Kuala Lumpur , but more than...

The use of landfill and incineration varies with the city.

- varies per city

landfills absorb up to around 75%
- It is better to always be precise in your statements to give it an aura of authority instead of uncertainty. You need to have confidence and believe in the information you are presenting.

In Madrid and Kuala Lumpur, however, the situation is reversed.

- However, in Madrid and Kuala Lumpur , the ...

Respectively, 40% and around 55% of waste materials are reduced to ash, whereas approximately only 30% and 15% of those are buried on land.

- In this sentence, you should have used the country names instead of the word "respectively" because "respectively" is normally used after the nouns are provided. It is not used to start a new sentence because it connotes a one is to one relationship between words. It is a connecting word. Avoid using that term as much as possible because most readers would have to go back to your previous statement in order to remember what you were talking about. Always be specific instead.
OP LadyOfClockwork 30 / 102  
Oct 8, 2017   #3
@Holt
Very glad to hear that. I'm so happy.

Thank you for your advice. I'll pay more attention to details and keep practicing accordingly. I'll do my best to come across as a native speaker.


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