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The bar chart shows that males enjoyed more leisure time than females throughout the period shown


billyabbot 2 / 5  
Sep 1, 2015   #1
The bar chart shows the amount of leisure time of enjoyed by men and women in different employment.

The bar chart compares the number of hours of free time that men and women had in terms of employment status between 1998 and 1999.
It is clear that males enjoyed more leisure time than females throughout the period shown. It is also noticeable that the figures for the unemployed and retired had by far the highest amount of leisure time by both genders.

There are over 80 hours of leisure time per week enjoyed by unemployed men, while just over 80 hours of free time that unemployed women had in the same period. Interestingly, the figures for retired men and women were exactly the same as those for the unemployed. Males and females who worked full-time each used approximately 40 hours of free time per week for rest.

The spare time per week enjoyed by housewives and part-time working women were exactly 50 hours and 40 hours respectively. No figures are given for house husband or part-time working men in these years.




lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 1, 2015   #2
Hello, I can help you with your summary of the bar chart.

You are doing quite well with your summary. The second sentence you could delete "by far ". This is only an option if you choose, but the meaning is still good.

I noticed that the summary you gave regarding unemployed women could be an error. Although, it can be very difficult to see if a bar crosses the the line, this number seems to be slightly under 80 hours. If you have a ruler you could judge it better.

I see that you are trying to round both numbers, but I would like to help you with your sentence: "On the other hand, males and females, who worked full-time, each used approximately 40 hours of free time per week for leisure activities." Since the bar graph only uses the word leisure, I think you should continue to use that word.

The last two sentences could use some revisions:

Change the word order and use a transition: "In contrast, the spare time enjoyed by housewives and part-time working women per week was exactly 50 hours and 40 hours, respectively."

"Also, no figures were given for the house husband or part-time working men in those years." Nice work!
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Sep 2, 2015   #3
It is clear that males enjoyed more leisure time than females throughout the period shown. It is also noticeable that the figures for the unemployed and retired had by far the highest amount of leisure time by both genders

Overall, males spent more leisure time compared to females counterpart while the trend of both gender showed an identical in unemployed and retired group.
OP billyabbot 2 / 5  
Sep 3, 2015   #4
Hi guys, thank you very much for your comment, its so usefule. I am aiming to my official test on November 21th.
I will try to post one essay task 1 or 2 every 2 days. Hope to get you contribution every often.


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