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IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories

jaynguyen 2 / 2  
Jul 25, 2021   #1
**The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.**

**Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.**

The information given in the chart makes comparisons in the number of money was spend on five categories such as food, housing, transportation, health care and clothing in four different countries in 2009.

While the figures for spending of people in four countries have many disparities, it is clear that spender allocated much more for housing than any other categories. Health care and clothing, on the other hand, received the least expenses by people of these four given countries.

As can be seen from the graph, people in four countries invest over 20% of their total expenditure in housing. American expenditure on this category was highest (over 25%) while the proportion of expenses made by people in other countries remained with over 20% total expenditure. Food was the second most expensive category in UK and Japan. Japanese and British spent over 20% on food whereas spending of people in Canada and US was lower, just roughly 15%. For the US and Canada, transportation was the second expensive sector which cost around 17% to 20% while that was cheaper in UK and Japan, just 15% and 10% respectively.

Health care and clothing were two sectors that had inexpensive costs. Only American expended more than 15% on health care, in other countries people spent just less than 5%. Finally, clothing comprised over 5% in Canada and UK while in US and Japan this figure just at roughly 4%.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,003 3877  
Jul 26, 2021   #2
The writer has confused the time allowances for the Task1 and Task 2 essays. The task 1 essay has a 20 minute allotment, covering 150-200 words. The writer has provided a discussion that requires a 40 minute allowance, a task 2 essay criteria. The writer needs to be reminded that a task 1 essay is based on short but clearly explained paragraphs.The score is based on summary efficiency, not the number of words written. The clear brevity of the essay recieves good score. An overly long essay does not.

The summary overview is confusing. Money is referred to in "amount spent" not "number of money spent". There are no clear listing references in relation to the significant measurement sources. The trending statement does not offer relevant information in relation to data sources.The writer did not consider the audience target of the presentation. All the sentences are over worded. These could have used a shorter presentation.
OP jaynguyen 2 / 2  
Jul 26, 2021   #3
Thank you for your comment, I will practice more to improve these errors.
Vanphan 2 / 5  
Jul 26, 2021   #4
money was spend spent on

category in the UK

the second most expensive

this figure was just at roughly 4%

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