Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS TASK 1 - BAR CHARTS INFORMATION ON THE GLOBAL SALE HYBRID VEHICLES BEETWEN 2006 AND 2009.


andika06 11 / 10 3  
Jan 8, 2016   #1
The chart below gives information on the global sale hybrid vehicles* between 2006 and 2009.

The bar charts present the trade of new model of private transportation from 2006 to 2009. Overall, the total sales in Japan, US and other countries were upward trend. The highest number of new car of high develop technology trade from united state county and followed by Japanese nations as a runner up.

The transportation trading in US stood at 250.000 in 2006. Then, in 2007 this reached a high at 350.000. Next, that decreased slowly by 30.000 to 320.000 in 2008. Afterwards, the commerce of transportation in US fell again to 300.000 in 2009.

It can be seen that, The number of trade vehicles in Japan was at 50.000 in 2006. Moreover, that increased gradually until 2008, in 2009, it rose significantly by 230.000 to 330.000 in 2009. That was the highest of sale vehicles compared with US and other nations in 2009. The number of sales in other countries increased steadily for over four years.

Overall, total trading was upward trend, from 360.000 in 2006 to 740.000 in 2009. Japan was the one of country which went up sharply more than 200.000 and it became the top sales private transport in 2009.




ilankelo21 36 / 41 22  
Jan 8, 2016   #2
The highest SALE number of new A HIGHLY DEVELOPED car of high develop technologytradefrom WAS united state county and followed by Japanese nation as a runner up. IN THE SECOND PLACE.

Then, in 2007 this IT reached a high ITS PEAK at 350.000, Next, that BUT decreased slowly by 30.000 to 320.000 WITNESSED A SLOW DECREASE AT JUST OVER 300,000 in 2008.

Moreover, BEFORE HAVING A SHARP RISE IN THE LAST PERIOD, IT that increased gradually until 2008, in 2009, it rose significantly by 230.000 to 330.000 in 2009. That was the highest of sale vehicle SALE compared with US ...
Clark Kent 20 / 23 6  
Jan 9, 2016   #3
Hi, Mr. andika.
Obviously, your essay is really 'simple', and this what we call 'shopping list'. Since you just mention all of the figures year by year without comparing them. Try to avoid this pattern since you have many figures that you can compare.

The transportation trading in US stood ...

Take a look at this, and bear in your mind.
The transportation trading in the US stood at 250,000 in the prior period, while japan was lower five times than the USA. in 2007, both figures experienced the same pattern, however, the number of hybrid vehicles sell in the USA reached a peak of 350,000.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - BAR CHARTS INFORMATION ON THE GLOBAL SALE HYBRID VEHICLES BEETWEN 2006 AND 2009.