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bar graph task 1 spending money on entertainment


ladyjoy 3 / 10  
Nov 6, 2013   #1
The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five-year period. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar graph illustrates us the expenditure of money on various kinds of amusing facilities from 1995 to 2000.
We can see that the highest amount of money was related to the United States, because it was over $250 billion in 2000 in comparison with the spending sum in the same country in 1995.

The situation in Europe and Asia looked approximately similar. In both regions was expended over $100 billion in 2000 and slightly less money in 1995.
The graph indicates that Publishing was the most popular sort of amusement in all regions. Television had been necessary as well. On the third place was Music. Video and Cinema did not differ to each other roughly.

Overall, from the given bar chart it is obviously that in certain regions people spent on several recreational activities more money than the others. But in all of them the most significant level of financial quantity belonged to such forms as Publishing and Television.

It is my first chart describing. I suggest there are a lot of unlinked thoughts. maybe I could not group them in correct way, but I spent on it 25 min (It is long I know:() and there are ~ 168 words

Would you telling me whether I might be successful in writing test in IELTS. It is very important for me. Could you assess y essay and tell me how much score I might got from it?

Thank you in advance!




tarhuna16 4 / 5 1  
Nov 6, 2013   #2
Try to use the same tenses in all essay. For example that Publishing was the most popular sort of amusement in all regions. Television had been necessary as well.
Traveler 6 / 14 2  
Nov 6, 2013   #3
Hi,

The bar graph illustrates us the expenditure of money on various kinds of amusing facilities from 1995 to 2000.

The bar graph illustrates the expenditure on various kinds/types of entertainment/amusement in three different regions from 1995 to 2000. I think that "expenditure of money" is redundant.

Overall, from the given bar chart it is obviously that in certain regions people spent on several recreational activities more money than the others. But in all of them the most significant level of financial quantity belonged to such forms as Publishing and Television.

I suggest you to put the overview paragraph right after the introduction and to modify it. You could say the two major points, (e.g. that US had the highest spending on entertainment during the period shown, while Asia had the lowest). The second point (which you actually mentioned) is that television and publishing were the forms of entertainment with the largest amount of expenditure in each region.

Then, you can write 2 paragraphs in which you give the details and make comparisons.

Hope this helps
OP ladyjoy 3 / 10  
Nov 7, 2013   #4
oh so kind of you! I did not notice that. I have read lots of tips but did not follow them:(
OP ladyjoy 3 / 10  
Nov 7, 2013   #5
I am so grateful to you! it is valuable information for me! but I become to be disappointed seeing how the score 0ver 7 goes away from me. now I am afraid much more than before.

Thank you all!
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Nov 13, 2013   #6
We can see that the highest amount of money was related to the United States, because it was over $250 billion in 2000 in comparison with the spending sum in the same country in 1995.

This task is aimed at testing your report writing skills. Therefore, you need to adopt a more formal tone for this task.
OP ladyjoy 3 / 10  
Nov 15, 2013   #7
The bar graph illustrates us the expenditure on various recreational facilities all over the world from 1995 to 2000. The significant change we can see between the USA and Asia in comparison with Europe.

It is obviously here that in 2000 was spent the greatest amount of money in all the regions. The USA expended over $250 billion, Europe more than $150 and finally the quantity for Asia was over $100. In 1995 in the USA it was spent over $150 billion, what absolutely differed to Europe, in which that spending was below $150 billion, and the lowest percentage was shown in Asia which total spending result was over $100 billion.

Furthermore, from this bar graph it is clearly seen that in all of the regions people spent more money on publishing and television. The sum of expenditure on cinema and music was approximately equal.

Thus, as far as the spending number was different in the USA, Europe and Asia, it is concerned that during the five-year period expenses on all the shown amusement activities were rapidly increased.

I used 172 words and wrote it in 17 min (that is the progress for me but maybe it was because of my recognizing the topic before)

I am so grateful to all of the people, who answered and I will pay attention to all your warnings. I have troubles with summarizing and conclusion, I think.
roseblack1360 1 / 3 1  
Nov 29, 2013   #8
In IELTS Taks 1, you should make more comparison

We can see that the highest amount of money was related to the United States, because it was over $250 billion in 2000 in comparison with the spending sum in the same country in 1995

it can be seen from the chart that the highest amount of money was United state, which made up over $250 million in comparison with other countries -> that is overview

the comparison in US between 2001 and1995, I think you should put it in paragraph detail
OP ladyjoy 3 / 10  
Nov 29, 2013   #9
thanks a lot! I forgot what I wrote:) it is so complicated. I hope I do not see the charts like that in real exam:)


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