Logon to EF
On the new screen that opens up, under the LOGO "EssayForum",
Find and select your essay file on the "-Select Forum-" screen and click on "WRITING FEEDBACK", not Scholarship Essays
===============================If I were you, I would start analyzing the prompt to see how and what to do, like this:Statement:
It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media
on our lives.Task:
Discuss the advantages
of living in a media-rich society
Have a look at the intro:
Nowadays the mass media is getting one of the important thing in our everyday life, it is growing respectively. In fact, it has a lot of pros and cons. In my opinion, the advantages are overweight the drawbacks of it.
You need an extra work to paraphrase the intro, by having much consideration for the keywords (see boldface)
there are many types of media such as TV, the Internet, newspaper, magazines and radio
In IELTS this is called 'shopping list", just making list of seperate points. By doing this, the assessors think that your writing is not well-developed.
Write 'every person'. People
is used as the plural of 'person'
printing anti-social information which can affect to our overview.
Like what? This should be precise
an influx of money
Write an influx of cash. Influx collocates with money
by the way
Omit this one. You don't need to use 'lazy expressions', especially ones that belong more to oral communication
the improvement of international media many other cultures and countries which differ with each other suffer from decrease of their own traditional value
A lack of clarity in this sentence. Better redo. Then check the grammatical mechanicsWe can't give you definitive band scores. If we do, you will put a great deal of trust on us. If we do give you band scores that are not reflected in your eventual IELTS test results. You may well build up unrealistic expectations, and ultimately, disappointment for you. We focus on recommending ways how you can improve your different skills - that is a much more useful way to help you to improve your language ability and therefore, your test results.
Hope this helps :D