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'When becoming a professional person' - ielts


redrose2013 1 / 1  
Aug 21, 2012   #1
When becoming professional person in any field natural or born talents and proper training are the two most important tools that person become success .Most people think natural talent is the most important factor but sometimes claimed that any person can be professional person due to proper training .

Firstly, born talents are very important advantage for any kid when he or she going to train it. Also for kids its easy to choose the path in there young age . Today's world have great sport person and musicians such as Roger Fedrer , Husan bolt who achieved this success in there career because of natural gifted ability .Fields like music is very important to have natural talent rather than training . Especially for the vocalist .AR Rahuman is the one of grate musician who became legend in his field because of his natural talent .

Secondly, rather than natural talent any children can become successful professional person through the proper training. Today's technology very advance in every area . Scientist use this new innovation for especially sports training .Those proper training help kids to develop there skills even they born as a normal kids . Most of the professional sports persons and musicians use these traing for maintain there peak performance level . Most parent train their kids in such a high tech facilities for future success of kids life .

In conclusions, it is true that have natural talents but more than natural talents very important to have proper training. Because today's world has new and advance technology . Through this technology and proper training child can become successful sports or musician in future even they born like Norman kids .

topic ;it is generally belive some people are born with certion talents for instant for music or sports and others are not ,however ,it is sometime claimed that any childern can be tought to become a good sports person or mucican .

discuss both these views and give your own opinion

nguyen hong 2 / 2  
Aug 23, 2012   #2
In introduction, you not give your opinion.
"There are many factors contributing to the success of good sport or musician. It is believed that natural talent is important factor while others claimed that any person also become professional person due to proper training . "

you should notice how to use words
some errors:
grate musician ---> great musician
who achieved this success in there career because of natural gifted ability ---> who achieved the successes in their career because of natural gift

they born ----> they were born
amitt - / 80  
Aug 23, 2012   #3
The topic is really tough & difficult to write.
"Today's technology very is advance in every area ". In conclusions, it is true that have natural talents but more than natural talents very important to have proper training. There are lot of spelling/grammatical errors as well as improper organisation.
OP redrose2013 1 / 1  
Aug 23, 2012   #4
thank you very much for ur comments and i hope u will help my future essays too
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 24, 2012   #5
Firstly,bB orn talents are an very important advantage for any kid when he or she going to train itthat can be further fine tuned by training. Also for kids, its easy to choose the path in theretheir young age . (this sentence does not establish a clear link to your idea.... try and improve it to organize your flow better) Today's world havehas great sports personalitiesand musicians(you dont give examples for musicians in this sentence, therefore dont include it here) such as Roger Fedrer , Husan bolt who achieved this success in there career because of they are blessed with such natural gifted ability . ThefF ields like music is very important to havealso demands natural talent rather than training, eE specially for the vocalist .AR Rahuman is the one of grate musicians who became a legend in his field because of his natural talent (but he is not a vocalist, talk about someone like Latha Mangeskar or Celine Dion) .

Pay attention to the essay structure. In this type of tasks, the following structure (with minimum four paras )is generally recommended and I strongly believe it would help you earn marks.
amitt - / 80  
Aug 24, 2012   #6
Dumi is correct & I totally agree with him. I think for letter writing/essay writing, essay forum is best. Good base too for IELTS exams. As I stated before the topic is really tough. In 20 minutes it would be difficult to club your thoughts in proper manner


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