Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


TOEFL - Becoming successful is almost an endless endeavor for every individual.


basawang 10 / 76  
Sep 23, 2011   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else.

Becoming successful is almost an endless endeavor for every individual. Nevertheless, not everyone can succeed. From this standpoint, I disagree with the statement that people who want to succeed should be more like others than be different from everyone else. There are mainly two reasons for this. The first one is the definition of success for everyone is different, and the second one is being the same with others generally lacks innovation, which is fundamental to success.

Although success is the primary goal for everyone, people have different views and aspects of a successful life. Some people may consider having a good carrier with high salary to be a successful life, while others may evaluate their success in other ways such as the level of happiness and spiritual contentment. Since miscellaneous people want different things, it is unfounded to suggest that everyone following the same rule is definitely able to reach success. For example, many high school students decide to go to a college after their graduation, but if a student wants to become a chief, perhaps he or she should find a job in the restaurant instead of study in a university. Not everyone needs to attend classes in a college in order to success.

Furthermore, hardly do people succeed solely by imitating others' ideas or works, because this action lacks creativity. Only those who have the ability to innovate are capable of attaining extremely success. For instance, Apple Computer is one of the most successful companies in the world. If Steve Jobs, one of the founders of this company, did not have any innovative thinking, the product of Apple Computer would have nothing special, and he could not build his business empire.

In a nutshell, for everyone, being like others is not enough to succeed. I suggest people should figure out what is the definition of success for them. Moreover, to become successful, the ability of innovation is of pivotal importance.
monamona 7 / 10  
Sep 26, 2011   #2
Hi
I believe in your last paragraph In a nutshell is a bit informal for TOEFL exam .Instead of that you can say In conclusion, To sum up,etc.

Best wishes
wjxjj123 4 / 8  
Sep 29, 2011   #3
just refer back to my own thread that you worte advice for. my idea has been clearly laid out.

firstly, the economic model is just an example of the scientific research that can bring people with ecnomic benefits
secondly,ignoring other research such as environmental pollution, no economiv model can be built to benefit people.
and i had already gave my explanation.

and i don't know why you don't understand it, please give me advice on sentence ,word, and grammer used on my essay, Thanks.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Becoming successful is almost an endless endeavor for every individual.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳