Begginer writting task 1 on consumer spending in Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey

consumer spending on differrent items in five different countries

The table below gives information on consumer spending on differrent items in five different countries in 2002.
Summarize the inforamtion by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

The given table illustrates the percentage of three consumed item in five various nations such as Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002.

Look at the given table, it's immediately obvious that food/drinks/tobacco occupies the highest position. In contrast, leisure/education has the lowest one among three consumed items.

Althought, people in Turkey and Ireland comsumed the highest food/drinks/tobacco at approximately 32% and 29% respectively, the consumption of food/drinks/tobacco in other countries was under 20%. Only 19% food/drinks/tobacco was consumed in Spain which was 3% higher than Sweden's consumption to be the lowest position among all.

Compared to food/drinks/tobacco, the amount of clothing/footwear was a bit smaller. The highest consumption percentage went to Italy at approximately 9% while the figures for the other nations was under 7%. Leisure/education accounted for the lowest amount among three consumed items. The proportion of consumming leisure/education only took up at approximately 5% and that of Spain was just nearly 2%

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@xyanuaaa

Hi.

I am Tran Anh Tai from Vietnam. I would like to share my thoughts of your essay as follows:

1. In the introduction sentence:

- "Illustrate" is usually used with pictures such as charts or diagrams rather than the data tables. We can use "show" instead; it could be simple, but more suitable.

- It should be "three consumed items" (plural noun), it could be a typo only;

- I think that if we use "five", we don't need to use "various" anymore. Because "five" indicates the exact number of countries already. Going further, we should use the "including" or "consisting of", because "such as" is usually used when we don't know the definite number of things.

2. In the second and third sentence, I think your ideas are so good. However

- I would try not to repeat "the given table";

- Avoid to use the unnecessary words. I would try "It can be clearly seen that..." (be + adverb + verb) or, "It is obvious that..." (be + adjective) instead of "it's immediately obvious that" (be + adverb + adjective).

I am not really sure, but I think it could be a little confusing if we use adverbs to complement adjectives. Instead, we could use adverbs for verbs, and adjectives for nouns.

In the long term, we should try to learn new terminologies which are simple, straightforward, and meaningful with less characters or additional words.

3. Body paragraphs.

I think that we should use some other ways to talk about the percentage or proportion, we don't need to indicate the exact numbers in all cases. For example,

- A little above one-third = 32.14%
- A little under one-third = 28.91%
- A bit below one-fifth = 18.8%
- A quarter = 25%
- Almost two percent = 1.98%

Finally, I would like share my way to develop the body paragraphs for your reference. It is just a group of ideas, not a complete essay at all.

- We can classify Ireland and Turkey as one group.

+ Their citizens seem to spend about 40% of their budget on these items.
+ They also allocate round 30% for food, drinks and tobacco.
+ Turkish invest in leisure and education with the largest proportion among five countries with 4.35%.
+ Irish number is only more than 2.0% which is ranked number four in five nations.

- We could write about Sweden, Italy and Spain in the second body paragraph.

+ They all spend about 25% to below 30% disposable income on above items.
+ Swedish use about 25% which is the lowest one among the groups, however, their spending on entertainment and education is more than 3.22% which is the second rank after Turkish.

+ Italian budget for the same items is just a little less with 3.20%, whereas they expend 9.0% for fashion items.
+ Spanish allocate less than 2% for leisure and education.

These are my opinions only. I really appreciate if you give some feedbacks, so we can learn together.

Thank you!
Anh Tai.

@taianhtran
Thanks your feedbacks a lot, it's very helpful.
Hope that you will give me more fbs for my latter writting :3 hihihih
I'm from Vietnam too :3

I think the the only problem that you are facing is grammar. In this essay there are too many grammatical mistakes, and that's the thing you can work on and improve